Band, baaja, budget: Bhuj’s Ahirs say no to wedding ‘show-off’, embrace tradition

The resolution applies to Bhuj’s 31 villages, which are spread over a radius of around 90 km and have an estimated population of 31,000 Ahirs. While all 31 villages have their own local Ahir samiti, comprising a president and members, the Lodai Prathariya Ahir Samaj remains the community’s supreme body. On May 25, 1,057 Lodai Prathariya Ahir couples got married in accordance with these rules across the 31 Bhuj villages.

From clothes to be worn by the couple and ceremonies that can be organised to the number of dishes served during the wedding feast and fine amounts in case of violations — the resolution not only attempts to reduce financial burden on families, but also tries to preserve the community’s traditions.

Instead of sherwanis, the resolution states that grooms must wear the traditional khamis (shirt) with vandani (dhoti) and pagdi (turban). In the case of brides, instead of buying or renting lehengas, they must be dressed in the traditional chaniya cholis, made out of coarse cotton that is hand-embroidered by women.

The resolution has also restricted the quantity of gold that can be bought for the wedding to a total of 80-90 grams. It also prohibits the bride’s family from observing gor, a ritual to ward off evil eye from the groom by showering money on the wedding party’s musicians and horsemen, both during the wedding and as the baraat (wedding party) departs.

Bhurabhai Batta, 57, Krupali’s father and the leader of the Lodai Prathariya Ahir Samaj, says the restrictions on gold has helped bring down wedding expenses to Rs 8-9 lakh. “There was no limit earlier. Families would spend Rs 30 lakh on a single gold ornament for the wedding,” he adds.

When it comes to ceremonies, haldi has given way to the traditional pithi ceremony, during which the family applies turmeric on the bride’s face. Instead of a big mehendi function, families have been told to organise a simple ceremony at home. Organising sangeet or garba as part of wedding festivities has been banned.

Even the food menu has been slashed considerably for both individual ceremonies and mass wedding events organised in the village. “Any six dishes other than pulses, rice, buttermilk, water, salad and papad can be offered. While the violation of the food rule will result in a fine of Rs 2.51 lakh, in other cases, the family will have to pay a fine of Rs 1.01 lakh,” the resolution states.

Krupali, who tied the knot along with 24 other couples in Kotay village on May 25, says the mass wedding, including six community meals, cost each family a total of Rs 28,600.

One of these families told The Indian Express, “The entire wedding, including gold jewellery, cost us around Rs 7 lakh. Earlier, our expenses would run in Krupali’s father says he felt compelled to introduce the resolution after witnessing  families sell their land to pay for “exorbitant” weddings.

Batta says, “As people became prosperous, they started spending more and more on weddings. Competition with other families within the community and outside drove many parents to sell their land to fund lavish weddings. A man I know sold his four-acre farm for Rs 28 lakh to pay for his son’s marriage. Of the Rs 28 lakh, he spent Rs 25 lakh on the wedding.”

Batta introduced the resolution soon after he was elected as the president of the Samaj on March 19. “At first, it was difficult to convince the community to accept the resolution. So I held meetings with the community in every village. The resolution was finally passed unanimously on April 14,” he says.

Calling pre-wedding shoots a “menace”, Batta says his community first heard of this concept nearly three years ago. “Inspired by the pre-wedding shoots done by youth from other communities, our children started demanding the same. A pre-wedding shoot costs anywhere between Rs 50,000 and Rs 5 lakh. Instead of the traditional pithi, they would insist on a haldi ceremony and compel their entire family to wear yellow clothes for the ceremony, adding at least Rs 10,000-15,000 to the total expenses,” he says.

Mavjibhai Ahir, the president of the Kotay Ahir Gram Samiti, says their community has prosperous families but nearly 30% of them cannot afford to pay for lavish weddings.

“Families would take loans and end up paying it off all their life. The resolution has also placed restrictions on ornaments that can be given during marriages. It allows families to spend on just three items — ram rami (a traditional necklace for the bride), a mangalsutra and one pair of earrings,” says Ahir.

Having spent around Rs 8 lakh on the May 25 wedding of his fourth child, his 21-year-old son, in the village, he says he had spent over Rs 25 lakh on his daughter’s wedding in 2022.

The resolution has also affected couples who got engaged earlier. “My brother got engaged last year. We had planned to spend Rs 25 lakh on the wedding. However, due to the resolution, we kept it simple. Even the bride’s family did not insist on a lavish wedding,” says Bhavika Batta, 23, a resident of Kotay village who got married on May 25 alongside her brother.

Sitting on a charpoy under a neem tree in her house in Nadapa village, around 25 km from Gujarat’s Bhuj, 62-year-old Vejiben Kovadia’s fingers move nimbly as she uses a green thread to secure a mirror on a red chaniya (flared skirt) for her daughter’s trousseau.

Kovadia, a former sarpanch, says the women had initiated a similar movement a few years ago to restrict expenses on weddings, but had faced resistance from the community elders. “The current resolution is a welcome move. The money saved on lavish weddings should now be spent on our children’s education, especially girls. Our children can now be sent to hostels for their higher education,” she says, as she continues to embroider the chaniya.

Four weddings were solemnised in her village on May 25. Like Kotay village, the ones held in Nadapa village too had a community feast and the total expenses were split among the families.

A Nadapa village-based groom says the resolution will help bring “equality” in the community. “Those who cannot afford lavish weddings will no longer be driven to take loans, leading to a financial crisis.”