On the face of it, both S, 15, and J, 17, had everything going for them — a good school, doting parents and a life cushioned by privileges. But it was their addiction to social media and their midnight chatroom sessions that shaped their minds and sent them into a negative spiral, unnoticed by parents. To the extent that S had anxiety attacks of maniacal proportions. And J even turned violent, breaking a TV set in a fit of rage.
That pubescent rage, driven by bullying and shaming on social media, can result in teens adopting violent and hitback behaviour to prove a point has been amply depicted in the Netflix show “Adolescence.” But Dr Shaunak Ajinkya, consultant psychiatrist, Kokilaben Dhirubhai Ambani Hospital (KDAH), Mumbai is seeing many teen patients who are on the edge. “Social media provides a platform for cyberbullying in the form of mean comments, rumours, or exclusion which can cause anxiety, depression, and even suicidal thoughts. Algorithms that push content which evokes strong emotions or showing harmful content related to self-harm, eating disorders, or toxic behaviours can influence negative thought patterns and unhealthy coping mechanisms. The number of likes, shares, and followers can become a measure of self-worth. When it is low, young people may feel rejected, unimportant, insecure or unloved,” he says. Then they tend to do something uncharacteristic to get noticed.
INHERITED TRAUMA AND BODY IMAGE ISSUES
S was raised by her mother as her father had passed away following sudden cardiac arrest. She was just five but that vacuum of a father figure only grew bigger. “She was a bright student but saw social media as a means to express herself, stay connected with friends, follow influencers and keep up with trends. However, scrolling through reels, she felt the pressure to meet unrealistic beauty standards and began to experience body image disturbances,” says Dr Ajinkya. The videos made her feel inadequate about her own appearance. She started rigorous exercise and frequent fasting. Moreover, S started measuring her self-worth based on the number of likes and comments she received for her videos. “If a post didn’t get as much engagement as she had hoped, she would delete it and feel anxious. As anonymous users criticized her appearance and lifestyle choices, S became more insecure. Instead of reporting or blocking users, she had internalized the negativity,” says Dr Ajinkya. Her academic performance dipped, she gave up badminton and chess which she loved and reported rapid mood swings, calm one moment, rebellious the next.
PEER GROUP BULLYING
J used social media to stay updated on gaming communities and engage with influencers. But then he found being bullied about his lifestyle, achievements, and physical appearance. “Some pinched him for not having updated gadgets or exotic vacations. Others reminded him that he would not get noticed without an athletic physique. This made him feel inadequate, leading to self-doubt and frustration. His growing obsession with social validation created anxiety and a fear of being perceived as unpopular. And just to be cool, he tried to mimic others in his group,” says Dr Ajinkya.
Within online gaming communities, J was ridiculed for his skills and even received some hateful messages. His attempts to engage in debates on social media led to trolling and personal attacks, isolating him further. His moods became volatile, leading to frequent arguments with his family. So when he broke a TV set, his parents realized that they were dealing with something more serious.
THE THERAPY THAT WORKED
For S, Dr Ajinkya advised talk therapy at first, with sessions focusing on building self-esteem, managing anxiety and developing healthier coping mechanisms. “We gradually laid rules for social media use and created screen-free slots throughout the day, especially an hour before bedtime. She was taught journaling and mindfulness-based practices to process her emotions without digital distractions,” he says. After three months, S regained interest in offline hobbies and reported feeling more connected to her real-life relationships. “With an alternative ecosystem where she thrived, she did not look for online validation,” says Dr Ajinkya.
Both J and his parents were educated about the role of social media algorithms in promoting compulsive usage. “We taught him to challenge intrusive thoughts. Digital detox strategies included implementing screen time limits using app blockers, setting designated ‘device-free’ times during study hours and family time, and replacing scrolling with football outdoors. After six months, his parents reported that he had resumed interacting with them and he could set his own boundaries,” says Dr Ajinkya. He unfollowed toxic accounts, focussed on positive online communities and prioritized his well-being over online validation.
HOW TO KEEP VIGIL ON SOCIAL MEDIA
Social media can push youth to develop negative feelings in several ways, often due to the nature of its algorithms, social comparisons and unrealistic portrayals of life. “Most of the time these are fake portrayals but they end up draining the little confidence that a young person might have,” says Dr Ajinkya. He reminds his young patients that trolls always make disruptive posts to seek attention, even negative. With zero traction, they usually withdraw. “Don’t play their game of dominance as no battle can be won without the other side participating. Finally, set aside time for parent-child conversations where parents have to be listeners,” he advises.
In Netflix series Adolescence, a 13-year-old British schoolboy is arrested for murdering his female classmate. (Photo: Netflix)
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