Why married couples who merge finances stay together longer, are happier: New study has the answers

WHAT THE STUDY SAYS

“When we surveyed people of varying relationship lengths, those who had merged accounts reported higher levels of communality within their marriage compared to people with separate accounts, or even those who partially merged their finances,” said Jenny Olson, assistant professor of marketing at Kelley. “They frequently told us they felt more like they were ‘in this together.’ This is the best evidence that we have to date for a question that shapes couples’ futures; and the fact that we observe these meaningful shifts over two years, I think it’s a pretty powerful testament to the benefits of merging. On average, merging should warrant a conversation with your partner, given the effects that we’re seeing here,” she added.

WHAT IT MEANS

“Economic power is important no doubt but based on what I see in my patients, there are two marriage models, the ‘we’ model and the ‘you and I’ model. The first model is about equity and a holistic commitment to each other. This establishes a joint stakeholdership in every decision, not just money, with the partner aware and approving of every big and the smallest decision, something as trivial as ordering groceries and changing curtains. This makes any relationship participatory, interactive and balanced. Unfortunately, the ‘we’ model figures at the lower end of the spectrum, maybe just one or two out of ten couples who approach us for therapy,” says Dr Satish Kumar CR, Consultant, Clinical Psychology, Manipal Hospital, Bengaluru. “Also joint bank accounts ensure a transparency where each is aware of what the other one is doing and there is no hiding. This understanding then expands into other areas of role-sharing and taking responsibilities,” he adds,

The reason most couples follow the “I and you” model is because, according to Dr Kumar, people feel suffocated to be ‘we’ and consider joint ownership as restricting each other’s spaces. “This then becomes a competitive space. One of the major concerns that couples always spar over in my clinic is who is contributing more. Sometimes, the sparring goes to the extent of comparing who paid more bills and in what month. Also, with both partners financially independent, much of the tussle happens over who hid expenses from each other. There can be expenses where the woman or the man may want to spend their money on their individual families. When you do that secretively, the other partner becomes suspicious about your intent. With a joint account, everybody is above board. In fact, the study, in a larger context, makes household finances just a pivot for a shared commitment in all aspects of your life. And when that happens, there is a spirit of accommodation that becomes important for individual happiness, mental health and a firmer relationship,” he says.

HOW THE STUDY WAS CONDUCTED

Olson and her co-authors recruited 230 couples, who were either engaged or newly married at the time, and followed them over two years as they began their married lives together. Everyone began the study with separate accounts and consented to potentially changing their financial arrangements. This was the first marriage for everyone involved in the study. Some couples were then randomly assigned to keep their separate bank accounts, and others were told to open a joint bank account instead. A third group was allowed to make the decision on their own.

Couples who were told to open joint bank accounts reported substantially higher relationship quality two years later than those who maintained separate accounts, Olson said, adding that merging promotes greater financial goal alignment and transparency and a communal understanding of marriage. With separate accounts, those in a marriage potentially may think it is easier to leave the relationship, Olson said. The mean age of participants was 28 years old. Three quarters were White, and 12 per cent were Black. Thirty-six percent had a bachelor’s degree and a median household income of $50,000. Couples had known each other, on average, about five years and had been romantically involved for an average of three years. Ten per cent had children.