What changed drastically when cell phones came into the hands of young people around the turn of the century was how communication switched from calls to text messages. These were not smartphones yet, and text messages were your standard Short Message Service or SMS, often written in short forms and symbols. Words were reduced to single letters or digits to save space and time and the SMS lingo, as we know it now, was born.
Three decades later, text messages continue to be the preferred mode of communication among newer generations, so much so that memes featuring the fear of phone calls come out in plenty. One where dramatic music is played when a phone rings instead of receiving a text message, another where a girl would rather drop her phone and run away than attend a call are viral among these.
But perhaps the real appeal of texting was never just that it was quicker. It was that it gave us control.
Only now with smartphones, SMS has given way to other texting platforms, where smileys and emoticons and newer lingos replaced the older ones. But the text-preference of younger people is not limited to Gen Z. Interestingly, as the internet first came into our lives, one of the most popular features favoured by new users was email. That you could write a few lines to someone sitting in another part of the world seemed miraculous even as we already had international calling services available.
Why did the written word hold such an appeal? Perhaps it has something to do with the form of communication that had preceded phone calls. Letters sent between friends and family were the only way they remained connected across cities and countries. The written word, by essence, allowed a certain clarity in expressing oneself. These were sentences carefully thought out to fill someone in on all that went on in their long absences.
When phone calls burst into the scene, these were initially short because of huge costs, and painfully loud and unclear. Later still, they allowed little to no privacy when a landline was shared by everyone in the house and eavesdropping siblings were often a threat. Even the old practice of using a missed call could become a wordless way of saying, “I remembered you.”
But even when the calls became affordable, easier and quicker to communicate, many continued to prefer to write and jumped on the chance to email and text. The preference for texting became so high that even for emergencies some chose to send a message and wait for an answer rather than make a call.
⠀
The comfort of having time to think
Such reluctance to take a call can come from the anxiety of saying the wrong thing, and therefore a lack of control on how one expresses oneself. A 2017 survey by LivePerson conducted on 4000 people in the age group of 18 to 34 across six countries found that 69% of them preferred messaging over phoning. Another survey by Uswitch in 2024 said that a quarter of the people surveyed in the ages between 18 and 34 said they ignore phone calls and prefer to text back than return the call.
These findings broadly reflect something many younger people already know instinctively: a text gives you time.
Psychologists have stated that the tendency to prefer texting can come from multiple reasons, including having to listen, interpret and respond correctly all at the same time. Most of all, the time allowed by texting to form the right response – instead of blurting out something you may not mean in a phone call – is what makes texting the preferred option. You can type, delete, rewrite, rethink and finally press send. A phone call offers none of that editing room.
And perhaps that is what makes a phone call feel so strangely intimate now. You have to respond in real time. There is no typing bubble to hide behind, no carefully constructed sentence and no opportunity to decide that maybe you should have said something else. You simply have to be there.
However, older people still appear to prefer a direct phone call, finding it easier to connect that way than to text or wait for a text. There is also another kind of anxiety that makes some prefer phone calls and this concerns how a text message was written, if it would be interpreted correctly, and also about waiting for a response which may take time. A few minutes of delay may send someone into a panic.
Maybe we just hate being misunderstood
While different studies argue for the benefits of both texting and phone calls – with regard to anxiety, intimacy, etc. – both are understood as a personal consideration for safety. Each has reasons to feel safe in the mode of communication they choose.
For some, safety means knowing exactly what someone sounds like. For others, it means having the time and distance to choose their words.
Perhaps the bigger change is not that younger people suddenly stopped liking phone calls. It is that we have become accustomed to communicating in a way that lets us edit ourselves.
The written word has always offered that luxury. From letters to emails to SMS and now WhatsApp messages, we have repeatedly chosen forms of communication that give us a little more time to think before someone receives what we are trying to say.
As long as they understand that about each other, perhaps we need to stop treating a preference for texting or calling as something strange. Sometimes a call is easier. Sometimes a text is easier. And sometimes, in a world where we are increasingly expected to respond instantly, even a blank text message is better than none.
The real appeal of texting was never just that it was quicker. It was that it gave us control. 
⠀
Share
