Carrie may have been Sex and the City’s face, but Samantha taught us real friendship

But Samantha Jones, played with unforgettable flair by Kim Cattrall, may have been the franchise’s secret heart. Though she barely appears in the reboot And Just Like That, which ended earlier this month, Samantha embodied something essential, something like oxygen: how to be a friend. No judgments. Space when needed. Loud hype when deserved. And most importantly, never leaving a friend’s side, no matter the mess.

Off-screen, fans know Cattrall chose to step away from the revival due to personal and professional disagreements with the creators. On-screen, the writers explained Samantha’s absence as a fallout from a rift with Carrie related to publishing. But even from across the Atlantic in London, Samantha’s friendship endured, and it was felt when Carrie lost Mr Big to a heart attack. Quietly with a single text message, Samantha reached out. It was a moment that screamed real friends might be out of sight, but they never leave your side. And it proved that Samantha always showed up when it counted.

Samantha’s friendship philosophy was crystal clear from the early seasons. When Carrie walked into her office, she found Samantha being intimate with a delivery guy. Carrie was horrified and later made it known she didn’t approve. But Samantha didn’t defend herself or shame Carrie for being prudish. She simply smiled and went about her day. It was Samantha in a nutshell: unapologetically herself, but never at the expense of a friend.

When Carrie cheated on Aiden with Mr Big and confided in Samantha, the latter was the epitome of non-judgmental support. “Won’t you wanna judge me a little bit?” Carry asks, to which Samantha responds, “Not my style.” In contrast, when Charlotte found out, she was appalled.

Samantha never moralised or performed support. She gave her friends, including Miranda and Charlotte, space to be exactly who they were without making them feel like they had to earn her love. Carrie often responded to her friends with judgment or discomfort, while Samantha’s support made it easy for her friends to be themselves. And that, over time, made her the most emotionally evolved of them all.

In another unforgettable episode, Samantha spoke volumes when she gently turned down a request to dance from the owner of the salsa club, where the group had gathered. Smiling, Samantha had said, “It’s just us girls tonight!” In that moment, Samantha proved that no man, no matter how charming, was going to come between a night out with her girlfriends.

And Samantha’s love and support for Carrie, Miranda, and Charlotte was loud, not just with men but with women as well. Fans felt it when she backed Charlotte when she was upset about Laney stealing her baby’s name. In that moment, Samantha — who did not believe in the old-school love, marriage, or kids — stood up for Charlotte’s sentiments.

Samantha’s support shines again when she prioritises Miranda’s wedding over her own cancer crisis. She travels a long way to deliver the news privately to Carrie before Miranda walks down the aisle. Even during those stressful hours, she puts her friend first and remains composed when the truth comes out. During her treatment, she didn’t dramatise it. She let her friends in, and in doing so, taught them how to show up, too.

Of course, Samantha had her limits. Her most famous quote, “I love you, but I love me more,” before breaking up with Richard, might sound selfish and unnecessary to many. However, she taught her viewers the art of self-preservation and set boundaries.

Let’s be fair. Carrie was iconic for a reason. She was the fashionable writer walking around New York City in expensive shoes and couture, and hopelessly romantic, looking for love and real connections. She was messy and vulnerable in a way that made her deeply relatable. She gave us SATC’s soul. But she was also the centre of her own universe. As the show’s narrator, every story was ultimately about her. And sometimes, that came at the expense of being a good friend. It reflected when she broke up with Mr Big, constantly turning to her friends for support, yet never considering therapy to truly heal.

“It’s like the blind leading the blind,” Samantha said as the three of them sat together at the coffee table. She knew her words might upset Carrie, but she chose honesty, giving voice not only to her own perspective but also to Carrie’s unspoken struggles.

Although Cattrall had a real-life fallout with Sarah Jessica Parker, Cynthia Nixon, and Kristin Davis, she was true to her fans and her character, Samantha. In a 2017 interview with Piers Morgan, when Cattrall declined to be part of the third instalment of the SATC films, she described her relationship with the three co-stars as “toxic”. She added, however, that in the past she has felt that she doesn’t want to “in any shape or form ruin an ideal of it (SATC)” because it “does stand for empowerment and it does stand for women sticking up for each other, but not always”.

In a show built on sex, love, and city lights, it was Samantha’s brand of friendship that shone the brightest, making her character loved for generations to come.