Air There Everywhere

There is clean air all around us in Delhi, if only we look for it and not buy propaganda, says WhatsApp Uncle.

Written by Aakash Joshi | Updated: January 7, 2018 12:10:29 am
delhi pollution, air quality index, smog, toxic air, delhi air pollution, mexico city, world air quality index project, indian express Thick smog at the North block in Vijay Chowk, New Delhi. (Express Photo by Tashi Tobgyal/File)

As you all know, I am not in the habit of interfering or commenting on your life, even though I am elder of this family. But I gave lessons and values… I thought MY family would never become fooled… that our clan is like the vaahan of Bharat Mata… THE TIGER… not sheep who are following herd mentality.But what do I see? Swastik is posing selfie with this girl (who is she? what is her family background!) wearing a mask with holes in it. Have you quit all your studies to become a robber! I am ashamed to say that my loving and obedient Mrs of 50 yrs also betrayed me. I come home last week to find that she has bought air purifier for 15,000 rupees!!! Never has my dutiful wife spent MY MONEY without asking like this…

For months now, I have seen Neha post so-called “facts” on pollution… smog this, 2.5 particulate matter that… I have kept quiet. But after 15,000 rupees I could not! Walk out today on the streets of Delhi… BLUE SKIES YOU WILL SEE.

My family… please stop falling for this rubbish… this air pollution nonsense is just a way for foreign powers to undermine Bharat Mata, which is a nuclear power once again after the glorious times of the puranas. Please see – it has all the senior leaders of India showing how we had gene testing, plastic surgery, helicopters and nuclear weapons in Ram Rajya.

Now, these multinational companies talk about pollution to make us buy air purifiers… DONT BELIEVE THEM! My own son is talking of getting air-proof windows so his 50,000 rupees machine (it seems you can buy fake air for one lakh also) can clean air at home…

I did not think paying for his education would lead to this…

The pollution you saw in Delhi was just fog. It has been there since my childhood. These Western influenced media talk about it because they are all paid and fake news. At the height of its power, England was covered in coal dust… did people complain? NO! Did they believe fake statistics about tuberculosis? NO! They knew that all that dust was a sign of good industrial production…they were real patriots… Indians only complain…

I know what the young ones will say. “Dadu, don’t be cheap. What is Rs 15000 for good health and peace of mind? Why not buy Rs 3000 rupees mask also?”… No thank you… I have a hanky, which is MADE IN INDIA. I am not cheap… If I had a daughter, I would spend all my gratuity money on her wedding.

My family, I thought I taught you to be street smart… do not fall for the companies’ propaganda. Look what is happening: My wife has a cough and cold and thinks its pollution… I am returning the Rs 15000 machine. I will enjoy the walk to the shop in Delhi’s clean air.

For all the latest Eye News, download Indian Express App