The Greatest Rivalry – India vs Pakistan review: Boys played well, but Netflix’s cricket documentary is run out by randomness

In certain moments, it also feels like an ICC-produced orientation video that could be played on a loop in hotel lobbies during the upcoming Champions Trophy tournament in Pakistan. Virender Sehwag is perhaps the most prominently featured Indian player in the three-part series, which omits the likes of Rahul Dravid, VVS Laxman, and most inexcusably, Sachin Tendulkar. It’s difficult to decide what Sehwag’s biggest highlight in the show is. Is it the time he casually describes Inzamam-ul-Haq as ‘lazy’, or is it the surreal scene in which he is carted around on a beach by four men, sitting on a palanquin?

Also read – Beckham review: David Beckham bends the narrative in his favour in fleet-footed Netflix documentary

Virender Sehwag in a still from The Greatest Rivalry: India vs Pakistan.

We do, however, hear a lot from Sourav Ganguly, for what it’s worth. Dada insists on speaking in Hindi — odd, when you recall that English was his default language when he was playing professionally. He feels slightly uncomfortable through it all, as if Shoaib Akhtar is charging right at him off-camera. Speaking of which, the Rawalpindi Express insists on communicating entirely in English. Anybody familiar with his Punjabi twang would understand what a big mistake this is. Had Akhtar spoken as he does on cricket broadcasts, or even on his own YouTube channel, The Greatest Rivalry would’ve been 40% more entertaining.

But nothing — not even Akhtar saying ‘attichyood’ — could make it a worthwhile hour-and-a-half of programming. After the usual suspects provide some cursory context about India and Pakistan’s historical differences, the series pivots its focus to the 2004 bilateral series between the two nations, still reeling from the effects of the Kargil War. The tour was an attempt at cricket diplomacy — an effort to mend ties between India and Pakistan after a particularly nasty period of conflict. The Samjhauta Express was flagged off; cross-border tourism was encouraged. In a way, India’s tour of Pakistan — which comprised of five ODIs and three Tests — was a lot like the epic face-off between Boris Spassky and Bobby Fischer during the height of the Cold War.

But because the story is narrated only by a handful of characters — Sehwag’s Pakistani counterpart is Akhtar — it becomes increasingly flat as it goes along. A brief diversion about how the Indians essentially tricked the the Pakistanis into revealing the generations-held secret behind bowling a reverse swing delivery sounds like it could’ve made for an interesting episode in itself. But similar importance isn’t given to Saqlain Mushtaq’s ‘doosras’ or to Dravid’s resilience. More time is spent on Ramiz Raja casually talking about tear-gassing unruly crowds than to more relevant aspects of the rivalry, like the playing conditions, or the diplomatic back-and-forth that must surely have happened between the Indian and Pakistani leadership.

But credit where it’s due, the show plays a trump card at exactly the right moment in episode two. Just as things are getting as dull as a night watchman’s knock, The Greatest Rivalry decides to drop Inzamam into the mix. Without any exaggeration, he is given about as impactful an ‘entry scene’ as a Telugu hero in a masala film. And although he never says the eternal words — ‘boys played well’ — at any point in the show’s three episodes, simply hearing him speak in that inimitable style is amusing enough. In one scene, he says politely, “Humse zyada run ban nahi paaye. Kyunki ji out hogaye they.”

Shoaib Akhtar in a still from The Greatest Rivalry: India vs Pakistan.

Read more – Mr McMahon review: A wasted opportunity, Netflix’s WWE shock-doc chokeslams the idea of entertainment

Netflix previously released the marginally more entertaining documentary Caught Out: Crime. Corruption. Cricket, which focused on a controversial period of cricketing history that is literally overlooked with a shake of the head in The Greatest Rivalry. In addition the glaring lack of access to the talent, the show is also hobbled by an absence of archive footage. Now we know what Kabir Khan must’ve felt when the BBC decided not to telecast India’s semi-final match at the 1983 cricket World Cup. When the show runs into a corner, it resorts to hastily photoshopped newspaper articles, or, alternatively, turns to a fake commentator who speaks with the sort of accent one might hear out of a customer service agent’s mouth. Forget being an all-rounder, The Greatest Rivalry is barely even a tail-ender.

The Greatest Rivalry: India vs Pakistan
Directors – Chandradev Bhagat, Stewart Sugg
Featuring – Virender Sehwag, Sourav Ganguly, Sunil Gavaskar, Ravichandran Ashwin, Shoaib Akhtar, Waqar Younis, Javed Miandad, Inzamam-ul-Haq
Rating – 2/5