Moving on from the common film-making bloopers that loomed large in the past year, here’s a bucket list of what the auds might like changed and improved in 2015.
The beginning of a new year is always filled with hope and anticipation of good things to come, and of course, those much talked about new year resolutions.
As a member of the all important “movie viewing audience” and an avid consumer of movies in general and Hindi movies in particular, here’s a list of resolutions yours truly would like the film industry to effect in the happy and shiny new year waiting in the wings.
1) If your film is a remake of a regional, Hindi classic, Hollywood or Korean film, then please make it as well, if not better. Just telling the auds that you are presenting them a famous movie is not good enough.
2) When you have a potential masala blockbuster at hand with stars at your beck-and-call, then please go the whole nine-yard and give us a full blown entertainer. There are no shortcuts to a good film. The best in Hollywood and Bollywood always mention the exhaustive rewrites and prep for the perfect cinema—so maybe that could help. There is nothing more disappointing than watching a film that could have been very good.
3) Song and dances have come to define Bollywood for lovers of Hindi films around the world, so could we step on the gas and belt out some memorable songs that can make the cut as timeless classics? That Kishore Kumar, Mohammad Rafi, Lata Mangeshkar and Asha Bhosle songs continue to inspire remixes is something to ponder about. And no, bunging in songs just for the sake of it or putting in those repetitive chantlike numbers with a bit of rap thrown in— they don’t do the trick no matter what their position on top 10 lists may be. For heaven’s sake work a little harder in this department.
4)Will someone please spread the word around that the notion of perfect beauty or never-ending youth is a myth. While the good doctors have been doing a pretty good job of the nips, tucks and botox, we would much rather see our favourite stars (you) the way you are, warts, wrinkles and the works. It certainly makes us feel better about ourselves and endears you to us. And then again, even with those minor flaws, you look way better than us ordinary mortals, so fear not. You have nothing to lose. No need for Botox shots or collagen lips.
5) Celebrating the success of a film within the first day of its release is unlikely to pull the wool over the junta’s eyes. You may trick them into watch- ing the film the first time around, but from then on it’s just downhill. After all, hell hath no fury like paying public scorned. If you don’t believe us, then just check with the Twitter trolls on what they have to say about your film.
6) Good marketing is half the job done, but it works best for films that cap- ture the public’s imagination. It can’t be merely coincidence that some of the best remembered films are those that kept a low profile before the release.
7) And for those who care for such things, let me suggest something unheard of. Please don’t bother too much about hiding the story of your film like your life depended on it. Most times it doesn’t make a difference. The audience will bravely troop in to watch a good movie several times over. Haven’t you heard people reciting dialogues of films in the cinema hall because they have already seen the film many times over?
8) And because we are such a cinema crazy nation who go absolutely gaga over films of our favourite stars, be it Amitabh Bachchan, Rajini sir or the Khans, please don’t penalise us by making cinema tickets so frightfully expen- sive that a night at the movies means burning a gigantic hole in our pockets. Quite like the middle- of-the-road cinema, the middle path on pricing would be a win-win deal. We all go home happy. And if you really think about it this could be a good way to beat piracy too.
9) Now that stuffed tigers and clumsily shot action scenes are a thing of the past, can we truly have a serious shot at an Indian film with a story and scenes which are somewhat original and not lookalikes of Hollywood films? It would indeed make our hearts swell with pride. And while on the matters of technical finesse, it would indeed be a pleasure to watch a truly world class animation film from India.
10) It’s clear that we the people (auds and the industry) are now warming up to biopics which is all very good, but we are still some distance away from sparkling ones like Richard Attenborough’s Gandhi. The last time we came anywhere close was Shekhar Kapur’s Bandit Queen, so could we have a splen- did one any time soon please ?