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Wednesday, October 20, 2021

When BTS’ Jimin felt jealous of Jin for his looks, would starve himself: His journey to self-love

Jimin might be the one with comforting hugs for the rest of his BTS members, but his journey to self-love hasn't been easy. On BTS's Jimin's 26th birthday, here's looking back at his efforts to overcome his insecurities and battle his demons.

By: Entertainment Desk | New Delhi |
Updated: October 14, 2021 8:53:35 am
JiminJimin turns 26 today (Photo: Instagram/ BTS Official)

Park Jimin or ‘the angel of BTS’ turns 26 today. Jimin has received many names from the ARMY, including ‘Mochi’, and ‘Chimchim’, and somehow, they all seem to fit his effervescent personality. Jimin is the  Maknae (a term in Korean that means younger brother) to V and Jungkook, but going by the numerous interviews and hilarious Run BTS episodes, he also forms the backbone of the entire K-Pop septet.

Perhaps that’s the reason why ARMY adores him so much — apart from his outstanding dancing and singing skills of course, his ability to be there for his ‘brothers’ through thick and thin and making them laugh through tears. One such moment was during the BTS Love Yourself in Seoul in DVD, when Jungkook broke down backstage because he thought that he messed up. Jimin gave him a tight hug and reassuringly said, “Nobody knew that he made a mistake,” and even managed to get a smile out of JK. Jimin’s always the one waiting with comforting hugs and words whenever the members are upset or feeling discouraged. His path to self-love has not been particularly easy though.

In the early days of BTS, Jimin was particularly hard on himself, and had insecurity about his vocal skills, as well as his looks. In one live, he had said, “Our team’s Jin is the visual of our team because he’s very handsome. So I get jealous of him sometimes.” Jimin’s insecurities reached a peak after some fans were rather upset when he lost his abs, saying that he ‘lost his signature look’. Jimin was particularly disheartened by this and started to starve himself, and eating only small portions of food before rehearsals. He followed a strict diet during the BTS’s Blood Sweat And Tears era, where he would go days without eating. He declined invitations to eat dinner with his band members, afraid he would gain weight. Later, Jimin revealed that he fainted several times during rehearsals.

 

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A post shared by BTS official (@bts.bighitofficial)

After learning about Jimin’s weight loss struggles, fans began the hashtag #YouArePerfect’ to show their love and support to him.

Later Jimin said, “We were telling fans to ‘Love Yourself’, but I realised I wasn’t doing that myself, I criticised myself, wondering if I was doing good, and what I’m working so hard for.” He added, “There were times when I drank by myself in my room and had many thoughts I realised that I had been mean to myself rather than growing up…”

Apart from overwhelming thoughts of weight loss struggles, Jimin was harsh to himself when it came to performing as well. His concerns in the first few years with BTS were always connected to his singing, and the constant need to improve himself. “How can I improve my singing? I think that’s the only thing I’ve been concerned about these days. That’s the reason I’m having such a hard time…because I think I can’t do it well. And hard as I try, I can’t do it well,” he said, in an old video.

During their Burn The Stage documentary, Jungkook revealed, “He asks me a lot of questions about the vocal part. But the way that he sings, is very different from my singing. He feels bad after every performance. He says that he doesn’t know how to use his vocal chords. And I feel bad for him when I see him like that.”

Jimin’s path to self-love has been an arduous one, but he has come a long way and is trying to let himself know that he can be loved, in his own words. Overwhelmed by the love from other BTS members and ARMY, he once said, “Am I person who is allowed to receive so much love to this extent?”

His words have given much hope to his fans as he said, “The situation might be miserable, but let’s not make ourselves so miserable. I won’t insult myself. I don’t have to pretend. I can just be myself. I can talk about myself, without pretending anything.”

And so, today he has the confidence to say on video, “I killed it out there. I gave it my all.”

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