The film opens with Sunny Leone lying on the floor of a house, which has windows and doors and walls infested with the most godawful paintings ever. So, what, you might ask. What happens next?
Good question, dear viewer, because my wait for an answer began from then on. And the ‘intezaar’ lasted through the film.
Upon closing, the film loops back to that same house with those windows and doors and walls, leaving me totally mystified, with questions of my own.
Who made this film? Why was it made? Who was it made for? Is it even a film?
Meanwhile, this happens.
Ms Leone spends the intervening time driving around tearily, looking for her missing lover (Khan). A foursome, three guys and a gal, are to be found bobbing around an ocean, and then find themselves cast away on an island. It has trees laden with fruits which float.
Fruits which what, you might ask.
That’s right, they float. In mid-air.
Khan spends his time trying not to roll his eyes, when he is not daubing bits of paint on an easel. Leone starts off being his muse, and then starts to play hide-and seek. So, does this excruciating collection of random scenes and dialogue, with the least semblance of sense, or whisper of plot.
My favourite line goes like this: ‘tumhe aisi aisi cheezein dikh rahi hain jo tumhe nahin dikhni chahiye’, intones a female character to another.
You don’t say, sister.