October 10, 2014 11:44:11 am
For this dish, you need to assemble the following. Girl. Should be able to handle guns and talk tough. Also, should be able to carry off tight spaghetti straps and razor backs. Needs to be from Delhi, because that’s where all the tough girls are from, right?
Guy. Who speaks some kind of weird mish-mash of UP-Bihari Hindi and a wildly-printed shirt, which tells us he is a) naïve and b)good-at-heart. Give him some kind of fuzzy backstory. Too much effort? Okay, away with that stuff.
A body-builder of a Haryanvi goon who has to have the hots for the girl. And a load of ‘powder’ ( `powder’ of course means only one thing, and we don’t need to spell it out : it just needs to be said with an air of menace). And some cops who are even more moronic than those that used to land up in the last scene in the 70s potboiler.
Stir in a liberal dose of ‘gaalis’, which need to come from the girl’s mouth. Mix it through and through, so that every time she says ‘maa’, she HAS to follow up with a ‘behen’. Tough girls must necessarily be foul-mouthed, see? Poor thing, what can she do, she has no ‘bhai’ and ‘baap’, see?
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Make sure to add in shots of said girl from all angles ( above, below and sideways) and splash ‘em about in scenes, which will lead the audience to draw a sharp breath and say ‘Oh my god, CLEAVAGE’!!!! ( Exclamation marks mine).
Check for seasoning : is Richa Chaddha, the girl who gave off such promise in ‘Oye Lucky’, and was so striking in ‘Gangs Of Wasseypur’ well and truly buried, only able to show us weak glimpses of what she can do?
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