Phamous movie review: Much ado about nothing

Phamous movie review: For lack of a better descriptor, Phamous can be said to be about men and moustaches.

Phamous movie cast: Kay Kay Menon, Pankaj Tripathi, Jimmy Sheirgill, Jameel Khan, Shriya Saran, Jackie Shroff, Mahie Gill
Phamous movie director: Karan Lalit Butani
Phamous movie rating: 1 star

For lack of a better descriptor, Phamous can be said to be about men and moustaches. The kind of men who lord over the arid hillocks of the Chambal, who shower more affection on their ‘mooch’ than their ‘mashooka’. Or should we hazard the guess that their ‘mooch’ is their ‘mashooka’?

So there’s the grizzled Shambhu (Shroff), trying to prevent his daughter’s wedding descending into mayhem, being carted off to the clink. The villainous Kadak Singh (Kay Kay), along with his permanently randy pal Ram Vijay (Tripathi) and Babban (Khan), are left to lord over the land, while Kadak’s faithful ‘chela’ Radhe, (Sheirgill looking a bit like Amol Palekar, and fully lost) is left to bring up the rear. These fellows do nothing but cock their pistols in all ways possible, and slap each other about in a plot which is never quite visible. The question is, is there one?

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More questions. Why did the ladies sign up for this mess? Saran wears deep pink lipstick and a pout, while Gill is to be seen in precisely two-and-a-half scenes, with the camera hovering suggestively over both their bosoms.

A feeble thread about sleaze and revenge tries to rear its head, some lines meant to smart are slung, a few bullets whizz here and there, but, really, who cares?