A fortnight ago, PNB bank fraud accused Nirav Modi threatened suicide if extradited to India from the UK. If it’s any incentive for the once high-flying diamantaire, he has made it to an Anees Bazmee film back home. The film features a fraudster called Niraj Modi who, having cheated a bank called PMB in India, has now become a big don in London.
Treasure the moment, for this is the closest the film comes to reality, of any kind.
Most of the time it wants us to cheer for three grown men — Abraham (really bad), Warsi (passable), Samrat (unbearable) — deemed unlucky by a pandit (who wears suits and drives a car, in concession for this being London), who fail at everything they venture into. Along the way, the three defraud Sanjana (D’Cruz) and her mama, and soon after, land work at another don’s castle. Essentially they are guinea pigs for this don (Shukla), in his bid to fend off murderous plots planned by rivals. There is dancing, romancing, racing, blasting, and car chasing. There are names like Raja, WiFi (Kapoor), Tullie and Bullie. Men behave like children, women like brainless children dressed in ridiculous clothes (Raja’s daughter played by Kharbanda is officially dismissed as dim-witted).
Among the much too many Indians around in London and the English countryside, there are plenty of white faces in the backdrop, getting kicked around.
Some good actors have lent their names to this mess, for what can’t be any reason other than money and the hits somehow against Bazmee’s name. So let’s not go around passing blame.
As for England, the consolation is that Brexit is not the worst thing that could happen to it. Sample: an ‘80s-style dance, compete with gyrating extras, at Trafalgar Square, in which the hero, heroine and the ensemble keep breaking into a naagin step.
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