Me to brain : leaving you behind for a bit, don’t mind
Brain : oh, you are off for one of those, huh?
Me, weakly : yes, ‘Housefull 3’
Brain : bye, bye birdy. See ya later, alligator
Me : groan. Please don’t use those tired old puns.
Brain : humph.
Two and a half hours later, we are united again.
Brain to me : so?
Me : mmmph
Brain : huh? Oh you mean you went and subjected yourself all over again to a bunch of people trying to make fun of the disabled, the coloured.. Let me see, what did I leave out? Community, race, class. .This is a film which gets a fellow to say, ‘apna moonh kaala kiya naukrani ke saath’ or words to that effect, and the camera cuts to Black uniformed women. Baarf.
Also read: Thithi movie review
Me : mmmph
Brain, sternly : Speak up, willya? Do I have to pick up every crass thing by osmosis ? Isn’t Akshay playing a guy in a wheelchair AND a split personality, Sandy and Sundi, the better to rhyme with , oh wait, better not say it here, families and all. And Riteish, what’s he called..
Me : Teddy..
Brain : He plays blind, right? And Abhishek goes by the name of Bunty who plays dumb, and Akshay has a scene featuring red ants-inflamed crotch- and a vaccuum cleaner, hahaha.
Me : See, see, you’re laughing too..
Brain : laugh? You call that a laugh? That’s a bitter chortle being dragged out of me. And those three hotties. Sorry, sorry, that’s sexist, Let me rephrase . And Jacqueline, Lisa and Nargis playing lassies in short skirts going by the name Ganga, Jamuna and Saraswati, coming up with the worst lines ever. ‘Woh mere seb ki aankh hai’ ( He’s the apple of my eye) .Hahaha
Me, relieved : well that’s sort of funny, innit?
Brain : what can I say, that’s a helpless smirk
Me : uh ok.
Brain : And Boman Irani playing a Gujju billionaire, how many times will he wear a bad wig and make with accents? Now ol’ Jackie Shroff as a `goonda’ with a golden heart, I had hopes of, he’s still so cool, but what he can do, poor fellow, when he has to say : ‘yeh toh mere BHK hai. Baaiyen Haath Ka Khel hai’. Unbelievable.
Any other line which rivals this?
Me : too many to recount, but what about this one? ‘Latakte hain’. Which, according to one of the lovely ladies who mouths it, amounts to : ‘let’s hang out’.
Brain, pointing and laughing : you mean, hang it, right? Serves you right for abandoning me. LOL
Directors : Sajid-Farhad