By Arsh Behal
With bright yellow bananas sitting pretty on each table, Bollywood’s least prestigious awards night, the 7th Annual Golden Kela awards, kicked off with blatant insults being hurled at the least-tolerable Hindi films from last year. At the event, held at the India Habitat Centre on Saturday, humour rolled into offensive personal attacks as Anant Singh, the host and co-founder of the Awards, directed his fury at everything from misogyny and widespread sexism in our songs, to the impartial screen presence and the dynastic culture in the film industry.
While Arjun Kapoor was bestowed with the Worst Actor (Male) award for Gunday and Everything Else; Sonakshi Sinha won the Worst Actor (Female) for Action Jackson, Lingaa and Holiday. Considering its box-office devastation, with the nightmare of watching Riteish Deshmukh, Saif Ali Khan and Ram Kapoor dress up as “women”, The Humshakals was unfailingly accredited with the Worst Film Award, with Bang Bang and Action Jackson trailing closely.
Abhishek Sharma (Tere Bin Laden fame) made up for the absentee awardees by picking up the Bawra Hogaya Hai Ke Award for his mindless production, The Shaukeens. It was hard to escape the gleaming “golden kela” trophy in Sharma’s hand as he proudly displayed his “achievement”. In his speech, Sharma announced his retirement from Bollywood, calling it a vessel of insult and despair. “We don’t make films, we make projects,” he said, while describing Bollywood. The “Most Convincing looking Alien” award was given to Shah Rukh Khan for Happy New Year.
Zakir Khan, a Delhi-based stand-up comedian, was the marvel of the day. His dark humour was devoid of redundancy and empty punches. A special selection of awards such as Bas Kijiye Bahut Ho Gaya Award, Dara Singh Award for the Worst Accent, The Shakti Kapoor Award for Misogyny in Film and the most pointlessly controversial film were also among the trophies.
(Arsh Behal is an EXIMS student)