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Monday, August 10, 2020

Sushant Singh Rajput’s sister Shweta: I only wish I could have protected him from everything

Sushant Singh Rajput's sister Shweta Singh Kirti shared that their mother believed that Rajput's arrival was because of his sister's luck. This made her very protective about her little brother as she felt responsible for bringing him to this earthly plane.

Written by Sana Farzeen | Mumbai | Updated: July 27, 2020 5:54:50 pm
shweta singh kirti, sushant singh rajput Sushant Singh Rajput’s sister Shweta shared stories from their childhood on her social media account. (Photo: Shweta Singh Kirti/Instagram)

It’s been more than a month since Sushant Singh Rajput’s demise, and his family is still trying to come to terms with the loss. On Monday, Sushant’s elder sister Shweta Singh Kirti posted a long note on Instagram, remembering her times with the actor. She also shared anecdotes from their childhood and used the hashtag ‘BhaikikahaniBehankizabani’ (stories of brother through the sister’s words) for the same.

Starting on an emotional note, Shweta revealed that she is experiencing bouts of pain. She wrote that she wanted to share a memory as it’s said that grief lessens when shared. Sushant’s sister mentioned that her family members told her that her parents always wanted a son, as they had lost their first child (a boy). She shared that Sushant was a charmer from the beginning and mesmerised everyone with his ‘beautiful smile’ and ‘twinkling eyes’.

“I have always been told by my family members that Mom and Dad wanted a son, more so because Mumma’s first child was a son and she had lost him at the tender age of one and half. I never got to meet my first sibling. But mom and dad were very hopeful for a second son…. they made a sankalp (mannat) and started praying to Maa Bhagwati for straight 2 years. They fasted, they meditated, they did puja, hawan and went to spiritual places and met spiritual people. But then I was born, on a Diwali day…. Mumma considered me very lucky and often called me Lakshmi Ji. They continued with their Sadhna, and a year later my little brother was born. Right from the beginning he was a charmer, he mesmerized everyone with his beautiful smile and twinkling eyes,” she wrote.

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Part 1: I am experiencing bouts of pain. Right when I think I am coping with it better, some or the other incidence rushes right back into my memory and breaks me apart. One such memory I am sharing with you all… because it is said that the more you share your grief, the less it hurts. I have always been told by my family members that Mom and Dad wanted a son, more so because Mumma’s first child was a son and she had lost him at the tender age of one and half. I never got to meet my first sibling. But mom and dad were very hopeful for a second son…. they made a sankalp (mannat) and started praying to Maa Bhagwati for straight 2 years. They fasted, they meditated, they did puja, hawan and went to spiritual places and met spiritual people. But then I was born, on a Diwali day…. Mumma considered me very lucky and often called me Lakshmi Ji. They continued with their Sadhna, and a year later my little brother was born. Right from the beginning he was a charmer, he mesmerized everyone with his beautiful smile and twinkling eyes. So, this little one was my “Pithiya”. This is a term used in colloquial Hindi to signify the one who comes right after you. Mumma believed that I was the cause of his much-desired arrival into our lives and I accepted the honor whole heartedly. I was very protective about my little brother because I felt I was responsible for bringing him to this earthly plane. We were always time together, We played, danced, studied, did all sorts of mischiefs, ate, slept, did everything together so much so that people forgot we were 2 separate individuals, they even called us “Gudia-Gulshan” as if we were a single entity (Bhai’s nick was Gulshan and mine Gudia) And when we started going to school, we had to go to different classes. Bhai’s Nursery and my prep classes were in same building so we managed our 1st year of school pretty well. But then my UKG class was in a different building and his prep classroom remained in the same building, so we got separated. One day after lunch break was over I saw Bhai in my classroom, in my building. We were just 4/5 year olds then. #BhaikikahaniBehankizabani #Downthememorylane #LuvuBhai

A post shared by Shweta Singh kirti (@shwetasinghkirti) on

Shweta Singh Kirti further wrote that their mother believed that Sushant Singh Rajput’s arrival was because of her daughter’s luck and she accepted the honour. This also made her very protective about her little brother as she felt responsible for bringing him to this earthly plane. She shared that they were always together while playing, studying or even being mischievous, that people forgot they were two individuals. “They even called us “Gudia-Gulshan” as if we were a single entity (Bhai’s nick was Gulshan and mine Gudia),” she noted.

Shweta then went on to write about the time they started going to school. The first year, the siblings’ classes were in the same building and so she shared that they managed well. However, they got separated when they got promoted to the next class. She divulged that once during lunch break, she was shocked to see Sushant standing in her classroom. She shared that her four-year-old brother confessed that he was feeling alone and anxious, and wanted to be with her. And like any protective elder sister, she decided to hide him with her in the class rather than dismissing him off. However, she said that she did ponder how adventurous and courageous he was to escape his building with a watchman, and finding his way to her class.

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Part 2: I was completely shocked and as well as happy to see him and asked him how he got there, because his building was at-least half a kilometer away. He told me that he was feeling alone and anxious and wanted to be with me. I pondered for while thinking how adventurous and courageous he was to escape his building with a watchman and then walking half a kilometer and entering my building right under a watchman’s nose and finally finding my class and me. I found his explanation of running away from his building pretty viable as I knew that feeling, When I was dropped off at the school for the first time, I kept crying and asking Dad not to leave me, “Please don’t leave me here alone” that feeling… initial anxiety to be separated from family members and be somewhere where you don’t know anybody. And as a 5 year old protective big sister, I assured him that he can be with me. First, I tried to hide him in between me and my friend, but somehow my class-teacher noticed him while taking attendance. I was myself a little scared, but to protect my little brother, I stood up and told her that he is not feeling well and asked if he could stay with us until dismissal. To my amazement, the teacher agreed and we were so happy, but little after 2 periods as the social norm will have it, he was sent back to his building but by that time we have had so much fun that all of his anxiety were gone. Fast forward in 2007, I remember the day when I got married and as I was leaving, Bhai hugged me tight and we cried a lot. Physically we won’t stay together anymore, we won’t get to see each other that often anymore as I was moving to USA. Both of us got too busy with our lives. Bhai got into Bollywood and kept making us all proud with his accomplishments but I remained protective about him. I would often ask him to come and visit me in the US so that we can relive our childhood once again away from all the noise. I only wish I could have protected him from everything….I still wish I will wake up to see my Bhai… just right next to me and will realize this whole episode was just a nightmare and nothing more. #BhaikikahaniBehankizabani #Downthememorylane #LuvuBhai

A post shared by Shweta Singh kirti (@shwetasinghkirti) on

“…..And as a 5 year old protective big sister, I assured him that he can be with me. First, I tried to hide him in between me and my friend, but somehow my class-teacher noticed him while taking attendance. I was myself a little scared, but to protect my little brother, I stood up and told her that he is not feeling well and asked if he could stay with us until dismissal. To my amazement, the teacher agreed and we were so happy, but little after 2 periods as the social norm will have it, he was sent back to his building but by that time we have had so much fun that all of his anxiety were gone,” wrote Sushant Singh Rajput’s elder sister.

Shweta Singh Kirti then remembered the time she got married in 2007, and was moving to the USA. She shared that when she was leaving, the siblings hugged each other tight. She wrote further that while Sushant soon got into Bollywood and continued to make them proud, she continued being protective towards him. Sharing a WhatsApp conversation between them where she asks her brother to visit her, she wrote that this was her way to relive their childhood once again away from all the noise.

Concluding the note with a wish that she could have protected her brother, Shweta wrote, “I only wish I could have protected him from everything….I still wish I will wake up to see my Bhai… just right next to me and will realize this whole episode was just a nightmare and nothing more. #BhaikikahaniBehankizabani #Downthememorylane #LuvuBhai.”

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