‘I was supposed to die’: Sanjay Mishra quit Bollywood to wash dishes at Rishikesh dhaba, felt he humiliated late dad

Sanjay also shared that he was “supposed to die” as doctors had told him that he would survive for only 1–1.5 days if the surgery was unsuccessful. He admitted that people visiting him in the hospital only made things worse, as they narrated stories of others who had died due to similar health issues. “I told my father that I will die with medicines if I keep meeting these people. Then he stopped people from visiting me,” he said.

While Sanjay himself was battling serious health issues, his father passed away just days after his discharge from the hospital. “I got discharged and after 8-10 days, my father died,” he said. Sanjay recalled that he had sent a chicken dish made by his fan, who was a cook. He said his father consumed the dish three days after it was prepared, which led to a deterioration in his health. “I told my father. How can you have three days old chicken?’ and he told me ‘Tumhari nasihat ki zaroorat nahin Hai (I don’t need your advice). These were the last words of my father to me,” he said.

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Sanjay further recalled that his father felt humiliated after he shouted at fans in front of him. “After I got discharged from hospital, my father took me to watch my film Aloo Chaat. He wanted me to get well and start doing action in film. But at the theatre, people started hogging me for photos, and I shouted at them. I hurled abuses at them and in my house, even saying the word ‘kambakht’ is a big deal. And my father had also taken his colleagues along with us. My father told me that I should not act like this, and I shouted at him back saying, ‘What do you know? You are saying whatever.’ I was on heavy antibiotics at that time and had not eaten. Later, after his death, when I looked at his diary, he had written that I humiliated him. At that time, I wanted him to open his eyes once so that I can say that this was not what I intended.”

After discovering his father’s feelings during his final days, Sanjay said he was left shattered and sought solace in spiritual towns. “After this, I went to Haridwar, Rishikesh, because I thought if we all have to die, then why are we hustling so much. I often go missing, I don’t pick up my phone. I have taken a place in Lonavala and I go there, and I try to have no thoughts in my mind.”

In an earlier interview with SCREEN, Sanjay had said, “I was suffering from a severe illness. Doctors had removed 15 litres of pus from my stomach and just after it got cured, I lost my father. I had started losing my life. So, I went to Rishikesh and started making omelettes at a dhaba near the bank of Ganga. The dhaba owner told me I will have to wash 50 cups a day and I will get Rs 150. But then I thought I need money for my survival.”