Karan Johar says he took classes to be ‘less feminine’, childhood trauma made him paranoid: ‘I get angry when my kids eat sugar’

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“I know kids in school who have Instagram accounts and already feel anxious about their looks, their bodies, and even the number of followers they have. It’s crazy — they’re just kids. When we were growing up, no one cared about what you wore or how you looked,” he said.

‘Faced emotional pain as a child’

Recalling his own school days, Karan shared, “I was a plus-sized kid, and though I was allowed to be happy, I can’t imagine how hard it must be for kids like me today. Children — and even adults — can be ruthless. It’s a toxic, unfortunate time.”

He admitted that nearly half of his parenting fears stem from his unresolved childhood pain. “Fifty percent of me is scarred from my childhood. I’m paranoid that my kids will put on weight. I keep telling them, ‘Don’t eat sugar. Dadda ate a lot of sugar and he suffered.’ When they skip a sport or bunk football, I get angry because no one pushed me back then. I was always the liability — nobody wanted me on their team. They’d say, ‘Football is not for you, play dabba gul with the girls.’”

While food was once his comfort, Karan said it eventually became his “enemy.”

“Whenever I went through emotional pain as a child, food was my solace. But when I realised what it was doing to my body, I developed a toxic relationship with it. There’s a scene in Dil Dhadakne Do where Shefali Shah’s character eats cake secretly — that scene made me cry. I used to do that. I once told a lady in Breach Candy it was my birthday just to order her delicious cake four times a year. I’d eat it all by myself. That gave me joy.”

Karan also revealed that he has long battled body dysmorphia. “I Am not comfortable in my own skin. Even today, with some weight gone, I’m only 10% more at ease. Deep inside, I’ll always be that plus-sized boy. I was teased so much that I developed huge insecurities about showing any part of my body.”

However, he shared that he has made progress in accepting himself. “On a recent vacation to Italy, I wore shorts and even posted a picture on Instagram — something I would’ve never done before. Some people appreciated it, others trolled me saying, ‘Yeh buddha pagal ho gaya hai, apna chest kyu dikha raha hai?’ But I didn’t care. My body, my wish.”

Yet, his fears as a father remain real.

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‘Don’t want my kids to be bullied’

“My kids’ screen time is limited, but you can’t control what pops up online. I’ve done things they might one day find embarrassing. I’ve danced on stage to Dafliwala — not Rishi Kapoor’s steps, but Jaya Prada’s! I even stopped wearing certain flamboyant outfits because I worry they might get teased at school. I love bling, but now I tone it down — I don’t want them to be bullied.”

Karan also reflected on how society reinforces stereotypes from an early age.

“We tell our sons, ‘Don’t cry like a girl,’ or that pink is not for boys. I hate that. I keep telling people — if you’re gifting something girly, send it for both my kids. And if it’s a PS5, that too, for both.”

‘Took classes to be less feminine’

Looking back, Karan revealed how people constantly mocked him for being “feminine.”

“When other boys played sports, I took cookery classes and learned flower arrangement. During a public speaking course, the trainer told me I had a feminine personality and that the world was tough. On his advice, I took voice training for three years to ‘sound like a man.’ I even took classes to change the way I walked and ran. I told my father I was taking computer lessons because I was too ashamed to tell him the truth. I wish I had — but I didn’t have the awareness or courage then.”

He broke yet another stereotype by speaking candidly about his struggles with intimacy and self-esteem. “People assume I must have an amazing sex life because I am a public figure, but the truth is I have very low self-esteem and want lights off at any given time.”

Despite having loving parents, Karan said they couldn’t fully understand the mental toll of his experiences.

“The trauma comes from how people make you feel about yourself. I was called names like ‘fatty,’ and every time I told my parents, they brushed it aside. My dad said it was just puppy fat, and my mother stayed silent. I cried a lot. She loved me deeply, but sometimes love isn’t enough — I needed someone to help me understand what I was going through.”