‘Nysa and I were fighting, struggled with each other for 3 years’: Kajol on difficulty in bonding with daughter

Recalling how she consciously chose to change her approach as a parent, Kajol added, “I stood up and I said, I’m the adult. I should be a little more rational. And so I decided that I’m not going to fight with her that much. I’m going to try and talk to her as much as I can. Talk at her till she starts listening to me and work with her. And so we both struggled for nearly like three years. Both of us were like, I don’t listen to you. I don’t want to talk to you. But eventually, it became conversations, long conversations.”

She further shared that the turning point came when she shifted her approach from instructing to listening.

“I realised that it was more about just me sitting down and me listening to her. It was not about talking so much. It was just about giving her space to talk herself and to be heard. And that made the biggest difference. Once I realised that it was not about trying to tell her how to do things. She would figure it out on her own. She just needed me to just sit there and listen to her as much as I could. So that was my biggest learning as a parent. So touch wood, we’re okay today.”

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When Kajol broke Nysa’s phone

Earlier, in a conversation with Mashable India, Kajol had recalled a particularly challenging phase during her daughter Nysa’s early teenage years, admitting that things would often escalate into intense arguments.

“I think she was 12-years-old and for 6 entire months she was having fights due to some or the other reason. I reached one point where I broke her brand new phone. I don’t know whether it’s tough love, but it’s necessary love,” she said.

What experts say

Explaining why such conflicts are common during early teenage years, Gurleen Baruah, existential psychologist, told Indianexpress.com, “Around 12, children are entering early adolescence, which brings a storm of physical, hormonal, and psychological changes. Puberty accelerates mood swings and intensifies sensitivity. Developmentally, they’re beginning to seek independence and form a separate identity, which often shows up as arguments or defiance toward parents.”

She further added, “Research consistently shows that teenagers frequently report feeling misunderstood and even hostile toward their parents during this stage. At the same time, their prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain responsible for judgment and impulse control — is still underdeveloped. This push–pull dynamic is why clashes at home become so common.”

Kajol married Ajay Devgn on February 24, 1999. The couple are parents to two children, daughter Nysa, born in 2003, and son Yug, born in 2010.

This article provides celebrity perspectives and expert insights on parenting and adolescent development for informational purposes. While it explores the emotional dynamics of family relationships, it is not a substitute for professional psychological or medical advice. If you are experiencing significant family distress or seeking guidance for developmental concerns, please consult a qualified mental health professional or counselor.