Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna turns 20: Karan Johar romanticized, glamorized infidelity

Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna divided audiences with a section criticising the film for its portrayal of infidelity while another called it a mature look at modern marriages. As the film turns 20, the debate refuses to die. We bring you two contrarian pieces on the Karan Johar film. Shruti Kapoor disagrees with Navya Kharbanda’s point of view, writing that KANK was never asking audiences to approve of an affair. It was asking them to look past one, at two marriages that had failed long before anybody strayed. Read her piece here. 

The unusual Karan Johar movie had everything the filmmaker is known for — good-looking people in good-looking settings, lavish songs, Shah Rukh Khan, and beautiful songs. However, under the glossy skin was a core value that failed to go with his ‘love your family’ ethic. The story of two lovers Dev and Maya, who fall in love with each other, despite being married to other people, was supposed to represent the depth of unhappy marriages, emotional unavailability, and the possibility of falling out of love. All happy couples are alike; each unhappy couple is unhappy in its own way.

However, somewhere between making us understand Dev and Maya’s perspective, Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna forgets the difference between showcasing adultery and romanticizing it. A bad marriage can explain why two people are unhappy, but it cannot automatically justify betrayal and turning to a third to compensate for the unhappiness.

The accident didn’t make Dev a difficult husband

Shah Rukh Khan plays Dev Saran who is bitter and frustrated because he is unable to play football after an accident and leg injury. But, much before he bid goodbye to his sports career, his wife Rhea’s (Preity Zinta) professional success had started bothering him.

ALSO READ | Rani Mukerji says India wasn’t ready for Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna, calls it way ahead of its time: ‘It showed people their own truth’ 

In the opening scene, when Dev calls Rhea to talk about his match, his insecurities surfacing during their conversation. Resentful and competitive, he asks if she is happy because she earns more than him. Dev forgets their wedding anniversary, only for Rhea to remember, but the blame of emotional distance somehow lands on the woman.

A still from KANK

Their love didn’t diminish because Rhea was an unavailable due to her busy work schedule, it was because Dev simple wanted to walk out of their marriage after meeting Maya. There is not even a hint of any desire to work things out with his wife, who he must have loved in the past, ergo the decision to marry and have a child with her. In the entire first half, Dev keeps grumbling about not being understood when he made minimal effort to understand his life partner.

Dev and Rhea’s 6-year-old son Arjun often becomes a punching bag for his frustration, which is even more uncomfortable to watch. The filmmaker tries to examine the reasons behind adultery, which weren’t even justified.

Rhea isn’t perfect, she is ambitious, busy and sometimes unavailable. But, the fact that she earns more cannot be the cause of her husband’s emotional crisis. They both were at fault but while Rhea wants to work on herself and protect their marriage, Dev chooses to have an affair.

Entering a marriage with doubts

Similarly, it would be too easy to call Maya a blameless wife. She and Rishi both fail to communicate with each other properly, which is the key to a happy marriage. A failing marriage and having an affair are two different things.

Maya’s problems start much before Dev, because she suddenly didn’t become unhappy, but already had doubts about tying the knot with her best friend cum core family member, Rishi. Despite that, she makes the mistake of marrying Rishi, only to blame the emotional cheating on his daily-life issues?

A still from Kabhi ALvida Naa Kehna

They both are very different personalities – while Rishi wants more physical intimacy and reassurance in his marital relationship, Maya felt it was putting pressuring on her. It is undeniable that Rishi can also be immature, insensitive and very fixated on physical affection, but there’s a clear difference between flawed partners and cheating partners. Even if Maya felt unsatisfied after staying in the marriage for a while, adultery cannot be the only escape. If she really felt that Rishi was more of a best friend for her instead of a husband, it should have been easier to confront the truth.

ALSO READ | Amitabh Bachchan pulls up Preity Zinta for not replying to birthday wishes: ‘Big complaint’

Emotional infidelity doesn’t happen overnight

Dev and Maya form an intimate relationship much later in the film. Amid their troubled marriages, they form a deep, emotional bond initially. And my friend, emotional infidelity doesn’t happen overnight. One has to fall out of love, start having feelings for someone else, spend time with the other person, to realise they have detached from their spouse – its series of choices and opportunities. During that process, both Dev and Maya had several chances to confess the truth to Rhea and Rishi, but they don’t. which make their transgressions worse.

Towards the end of Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna, after all the damage is done, Dev and Maya go to their respective partners and say – ‘I was cheating on you for the last 6 months, but I am ready to give our marriage another chance, so lets work it out’.

Dev and Maya in KANK

The filmmaker tries to make us understand the reasons behind adultery, but understanding those reasons doesn’t justify the choices. Dev and Maya meet, confide, become jealous, test their partners and lie. Eventually, they sleep together. The saddest part is that Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna makes the affair look beautiful, with songs like ‘Mitwa’ and ‘Tumhi Dekho Na’, the cinematography, and the patina of gorgeousness that all Dharma films have.

In 2026, the film can also be read as two adults who repeatedly had opportunities to be honest and chose not to be. 20 years later, the more important lesson is not that ‘Every marriage doesn’t survive’ but actually ‘Be honest in your relationship’.