Dilip Kumar’s sisters ‘orchestrated’ his second marriage to drive Saira Banu away; created ‘hostile environment’ for her

Before meeting Saira, Dilip had famously been in a relationship with Madhubala, but the two had broken up during the filming of Mughal-E-Azam in 1957. Just three years after that, Madhubala had gotten married to Kishore Kumar, but Dilip chose to stay single. Dilip had lost his parents by then, and had become the patriarch of his family as he was the one taking care of his 11 siblings and their families. They had also gotten used to him, and felt a certain sense of ownership over him. So when Dilip fell in love with Saira in 1966, he knew that his family would have a hard time accepting anyone in his life. Thus, he came up with a plan. He decided that after getting married, him and Saira, who was also a movie star, would live separately, until he found alternative accommodation for his family members.

Dilip Kumar asked Saira Banu to ‘live separately’ after marriage

In his memoir, Dilip Kumar: The Substance and the Shadow, the veteran actor was quite honest about his domestic situation as he recalled that his family was “very accustomed to being in charge of me.” He told her that it would be “difficult, if not impossible, for them to easily reconcile to a new person in my life, as also for her to live together with the family without any problems arising between them.” In no uncertain terms, Dilip told her that his family would be a challenge for her, and he wanted her to be prepared before she took them on.

Dilip Kumar and Saira Banu got married in 1966. (Photo: Express Archives)

Dilip made it clear that it wasn’t about her per se, as they would have a hard time getting along with anyone whom he might have married, as by now, they had gotten used to him being in their service, without any distractions. “I went on to tell her that it was inevitable that ‘Main saatve aasmaan ki hoor bhi laaoonga, toh usey accept nahin kar payegi meri family’ (Even if I bring a celestial angel from the seventh heaven, my family will not be able to accept her). They were so used to my being a loner and were not used to sharing me with anyone,” he shared, and thus concluded that, given the circumstances, they must live separately after getting married.

“In such circumstances, I told her that to give our marriage the right beginning and environment, we would have to live separately, on our own,” he shared and added that he would find “suitable alternative accommodation” for his sisters who were living with him, and also for the relatives who often came to stay with him.

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Saira Banu would ‘fall in line’ with whatever Dilip Kumar asked

While Dilip Kumar and Saira Banu did not live separately after getting married, they quickly realised that they would not find peace in his huge bungalow. As Dilip had a large family, he often found himself in a quiet little outhouse attached to his bungalow. This was a place where he stayed for some peace of mind in a bustling household, and after his marriage to Saira, he asked her to stay with him here itself. In fact, he found it “awkward” to tell her that he wanted them to stay in this “segregated” part of the bungalow, but she said yes without asking many questions. “This one quality to happily fall in line with what I said was the essence of the success of our marriage,” he believed.

In later years, Dilip credited Saira for being as mature as she could when it came to dealing with his siblings. “When I married Saira she was young, even younger than my sisters. I wondered how she would cope with establishing the right vibes with my brothers and sisters, especially since she belonged to a small family. We siblings, were a dozen. But she not only respected and loved them as a devoted sister-in-law, but also kept me close to all of them,” he told Hindustan Times. Dilip famously fell out with his sister Akhtar, who married director K Asif while Dilip was against their union. Years after K Asif’s death, Saira brought the siblings back together.

Saira Banu and Dilip Kumar were married for over 55 years. (Photo: Express Archives)

‘Hostile environment’ in Dilip Kumar’s house took a toll on Saira Banu’s health

After Dilip Kumar and Saira Banu’s marriage, there were two stars in the house, and his family was not prepared for the changes that came with her. He had anticipated that his sisters would find it “difficult” to share him, but he was shocked to see their “resentment” towards Saira as she too, was a star in her own right. Dilip’s family was “ruled by” his older sister, Sakina, and his other sisters, and brothers-in-law would also frequently visit the house.

Saira soon found herself in another world, as it was getting obvious that Dilip’s sisters were consciously making life difficult for her. Little things like occupying the shower when Saira had to use it were getting quite frequent. In such circumstances, Saira would often walk across the road, to her parents’ home to get ready for she had work commitments where she was required to report on time. Dilip knew that this was “not the ideal situation” but didn’t know how he could help her. “I was silent and quietly observed the happenings till a given time, always being supportive of my sisters, so that they would not feel that I was letting them down,” he said and added that Saira, who was younger than her sisters, showed immense maturity and tried to preserve these relationships, but the stress of the domestic life was starting to take a toll on her body.

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Saira Banu with Dilip Kumar. (Photo: Express Archives)

Saira became ill with “ulcerative colitis”, which was the result of the “emotional stress that had been building up within her in the hostile atmosphere that she was living in and the unfriendliness she was suddenly exposed to after leading a happy, secure and sheltered life in her own home.” Such were the circumstances that Saira’s mother took it upon herself to send her all the meals from her home, so she could be well taken care of.

Dilip Kumar moved into Saira Banu’s home

After an extensive treatment that took Saira Banu and Dilip to London, Dilip decided to move into Saira’s home, so she wouldn’t be exposed to domestic disputes in his house. He knew that at his home, “tempers ran high,” as this was the primary reason why he spent most of his time at his outhouse. Even something as simple as guests coming over would turn into a major issue in the house, and Saira would be subjected to unnecessary jibes. Dilip recalled that once when Manoj Kumar and his wife Shashi visited their home, his sister took a shot at Saira who was just entertaining the guests, and told her to be quiet in a rather rude way. Saira had no option but to listen to her timidly.

After a long time of enduring such incidents on the domestic front, Dilip decided to shift to a hotel, or ask his brother to move into his empty flat but here, once again, Saira asked him to look at the bigger picture. She “pleaded with me that all these were meaningless incidents and she requested me to let things be,” he said.

Saira Banu and Dilip Kumar were married until his passing in 2021. (Photo: Express Archives)

Dilip Kumar’s sisters introduced him to second wife Asma Rehman

In his memoir, Dilip Kumar shared that in 1982, he married a woman named Asma Rehman but he said that he “became a victim of a situation that was set to precipitate a deep crisis in my marriage with Saira.” He also suggested that he met Asma through his sisters and found it odd when he found her to be present in many gatherings, as per his itinerary.

Writer Udaytara Nayar, who actually penned down Dilip’s memoir, shared with City Express, that the Asma chapter in his life was also the doing of his sisters just so they could drive away Saira Banu from his life. Nayar shared, “There are many versions about it but the truth is that the whole thing was orchestrated by Dilip Sahab’s two sisters. They had never liked Saira and the book reveals how they treated her when she came into Sahab’s life as a wife. They created circumstances where Sahab was trapped and this second marriage was their way of getting back at Saira.” At the time, it was frequently suggested that Dilip had married Asma as he had no children with Saira, but Dilip insisted that this wasn’t the case. He later revealed that Saira and him lost a baby boy in the eighth month of the pregnancy in 1972.

Dilip divorced Asma as soon as Saira found out. Dilip and Saira were married until his passing in 2021.