Before you head abroad for further studies, some pointers to keep in mind

Like you, I went abroad many years ago. Things have changed so much since I went overseas. Culturally, India and the rest of the world have come much closer compared to my time. I look at the ‘young adult’ fiction best sellers list of the New York Times and I wager that to the extent that young people are reading books in today’s world, they are reading the same kind of popular literature. But I also believe that you might be in for a few cultural jolts and it might be useful to discuss a few of these here. This is very personal list and identifies issues that I am familiar with. There are generalisations galore below that will sound odd to some of you. Take what I say with a pinch of salt and a sprinkling of caution. By abroad, I usually mean the United Kingdom and the United States, the two countries that I have lived in.

When you live abroad, you have to ask people about things. In India people tend to tell you things. Abroad, people tend to leave you alone. That’s good for the most part, but sometimes you won’t know what to do and you have to ask for it. Don’t be afraid to ask people questions. What’s the worst that can happen. You might look silly for about two minutes. Or the other person can be a little annoyed with you. You can live with either of these situations. In my class, I always tell students to ask me any question that they want to. Otherwise the more diffident ones don’t ask anything at all.

Now, a caveat to what I said before. Don’t bug people too much. In India, we are more indulgent of people asking us particulars and details. Please don’t do this when you go abroad. I am not saying don’t ask them particular questions (see previous point). But too many particulars that your Indian Uncles might tolerate will irk them, especially if they believe that you could have saved some time by doing some research. Please do your homework before asking questions.

When you are abroad, you will come in contact with a trend that has caught on in India as well, but not to the same extent: people’s tendency to confuse confidence with competence. You will encounter some people, usually articulate, loud, and bombastic who you will realise later are actually hiding their incompetence behind their confidence. It’s not entirely their fault as the ecosystems that prioritise perception over reality, verbal skills over written skills, and style over substance will incubate some people who will flourish in these circumstances. They even elected a President whose only talent was supreme confidence in himself. Confidence is not a bad thing, but try to match reality to confidence.

The point about confidence brings me to a related point about motivation. You must be self motivated. Sometimes, in India, your parents and your teachers and your bosses will push you. They might even spend hours with you telling you various things (refer to my first point). You are probably going to find less of this abroad. What you will realise soon is that you are pretty much on your own. Unless you are self motivated you will get very little done.

Because there are Indians everywhere, you will tend to gravitate towards fellow Indians abroad. Fellowship with Indians abroad is a great source of belonging and support when you are alone in a foreign country. But please go an extra mile to make friends with the locals. For some of you this might be an unfamiliar experience, as we are spoilt for company in India and the idea of actually making an effort to meet people appears alien. A big part of your education abroad is your learning outside the classroom and local friendships will be integral to this learning. But even apart from this, you will make some lifelong friends amongst the locals which will enrich your stay abroad for years to come.

Finally, despite the economic and political rise of India globally, people abroad, particularly in the United States, are generally ignorant about Indian culture and politics. Things are much better in the big metropolises but if you end up anywhere else, you will have to get used to explaining the basics of your culture to the people you meet. Don’t fret about it. Think about it this way. If you make a mockery of your daal, you can explain that’s how daal is traditionally cooked in India. No one will bat an eyelid.