Updated: June 2, 2016 5:13:11 pm
While we been reading about the stories of Class 10 and Class 12 Board results toppers, there are many who have not scored enough to make it to the college level. Such undesired grades and failure in exams often leads to disruption of peace of mind for children and their parents.
Feeling of disappointment and unhappiness are normal but jumping to extreme measures should be avoided.
Here’s what parents and children can do to deal with this stress better.
For parents: Support unconditionally
It is very important for parents and teachers to remain calm and take the results in the right stride – whether the score is good or bad. Parents need to make sure that the child understands that he can approach them no matter how he performs.
This ensures that he does not take any drastic steps, does not stress out unhealthily, and also keeps the door open for collaboration or working on things in the future. Parents need to look at their child beyond just marks.
Give time to process failure Parents need to give adequate time to children to process and accept the truth regarding exam results. Family members should not make it more difficult for the child by constantly reminding him of his failure. Take time to plan the road map ahead.
Watch the advice Parents should constantly tell their children that everyone gets bad grades and that it isn’t the end of the world. The advice should also include how children can find their footing and bounce back stronger.
Avoid discussing results quantitatively The child might feel that he would be loved and valued only if he achieves the set target. Instead, parents can use phrases like “I believe you have tried your best and I will be there no matter what.”
Unrealistic expectations are disturbing Recheck the expectations set for your child’s performance. All students cannot be toppers or first rankers, and that’s completely okay, because academics are just one aspect of life.
What negatively impacts a child’s mental health is your act of comparison of their results with any other student.
The best way to see if your child is doing well is to compare with their past performance.
Failure in exams is not equal to failure in life Remind the child to not take extreme measures like locking oneself in room, attempting suicide or quitting food. Mend child’s thoughts in a way that failure in exams does not mean failure in life.
Even the most successful people in the world have failed at something in their lives.
For students: Reach out to talk to someone
Your parents want to see you happy and want what’s best for you. So don’t worry about letting them down since they will love you no matter what happens in one exam. Talk to someone who makes you feel better.
You can even approach a counsellor for a third party perspective about the situation. Remember, exams are not the end of the road.
Replace self-criticism with self-correction
Judging yourself harshly now won’t help you perform better in the future. Take the position of an observer. Learn from your mistakes and move on.
Relook at your studying methods
Bad or undesired results imply to take a serious look at your studying techniques. Change your study pattern and concentrate more on what you are weak at. Don’t compare yourself with your friends or anyone else.
— Written by Dr. Ajay Phadke, CEO & Founder of Type a Thought
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