Marital discord: Educated more reluctant to reach a compromise,say counsellors
The number of complainants at the Pune police Grievance Redressal Cell for Women has been rising and counsellers and police officers at the cell and the counsellors have noticed a marked increase in number of highly educated women approaching the cell with marital disputes. They also report another distrubing trend that highly educated working women and men are less inclined to take a step back and strike a compromise to save their marriage.
About 25 to 30 per cent of cases the cell receives are from women working in IT,BPO and engineering industry.
In 2011,the cell received about 1,250 cases as compared to 1,050 the previous year. The cases are referred to the cell from Pune police helpline for women or from various police stations. Some complainants approach the cell directly.
The number has been rising. But we have also observed that the rise is higher among complainants from highly educated working class. If we see the numbers,more than 90 per cent of complainants come from what we categorize as the educated class. About 30 per cent of them are women working with IT,BPO and engineering. said inspector Smita Jadhav,who heads the cell.
She added,As I look at this set of complainants,it is clear that husbands and wives are very focused on their careers and are ambitious. There are ample examples to believe that due to this independent mindset,few are inclined to take a step back or compromise on their stands. There are disputes about wives spending long hours out,spouses not being able spend time together,one of them or both not being ready to compromise on one’s career choice for the better half.
The cell has 15 legal and psychiatric counsellors who meet complainants three days a week. One of the counsellors,a psychiatrist,said,To some extent,parents of these young couples must be blamed. It has been observed that in many cases,even parents are equally adamant on their ward’s stand. Importance of families staying together or at least staying connected needs to be told to children since childhood.
The cell is now planning to add five more counsellors for their sessions looking at the number of cases that already touched 350 since January this year.
A counselling success
Inspector Smita Jadhav said,A young engineer whose parents were from two different communities had got married to a girl from one of those communities. The girl came from a conservative family and wanted her husband to follow all religious rituals. The rift widened and two started staying separately. After four to five sessions at the cell,the two are now staying together happily and have a baby girl.