Against All Odds | A runaway child’s journey from hiding his identity to achieving global fame: ‘No life like the circus’
Pushkaran, 53, tells the story as he proudly shares the amount of travel involved when one works with a circus.
A runaway child, Pushkaran’s story is shaped by his sometimes impulsive, sometimes planned, decisions to just land up in a new place. (Express Photo by Arul Horizon) For the last two years in a row, Biju Pushkaran has been on a flight with the entire team of Rambo Circus on New Year’s Eve. Boarding the plane after their performances, everyone would fall fast asleep. “But at 12 am, I would wake them up and cheer for a happy new year,” says Pushkaran.
Pushkaran, 53, tells the story as he proudly shares the amount of travel involved when one works with a circus. “People ask ‘Is the circus even a life?’ I say there is no life like the circus. Try it,” says Pushkaran, who has been a clown for the last 41 years.
From a tea boy to a world-famous clown
A runaway child, Pushkaran’s story is shaped by his sometimes impulsive, sometimes planned, decisions to just land up in a new place. The first time was when he was a 10-year-old boy in Kerala’s Thiruvananthapuram.
“After school, I was very hungry and there was a wedding in the neighbourhood. So my brother and I ate some food there. We carried the extra food for our mother, holding it above our heads. The sambar was dripping all over my face and it angered my father. He beat me up that night, not my brother. The next morning he beat me up again. I felt hurt and got on a bus. I ended up in Mumbai with no money, no food, and didn’t understand the language,” recalls Pushkaran.
Pushkaran started making his place in the industry with whatever he had. He didn’t complete formal education, so he couldn’t read or write. (Express Photo by Arul Horizon)
He first entered the premises of a circus to ask for food and started working as a tea boy. After two or three years, he became a gatekeeper and started working in publicity. “Then one day a Russian clown visited us. I was amazed at how he made 3,000 people laugh with such ease. It really inspired me to take up clowning,” adds Pushkaran.
After that, Pushkaran went from one circus to another to try his luck.
“He got rejected for being dark-skinned everywhere. One day a manager came and referred Biju to me and I saw a lot of potential in him. Whatever I asked him to do, he picked it up quickly. He did the audience interactions really well too,” says Sujit Dilip, owner of the Pune-based Rambo Circus.
Pushkaran started making his place in the industry with whatever he had. He didn’t complete formal education, so he couldn’t read or write. “I couldn’t write the script. So I found my way by picking up funny things I found in everyday conversations,” says Pushkaran.
He also designed his costume when he was in Aurangabad for a show. “I didn’t have a hat. So I stitched it from a random cloth. I had a wig from which I cut hair to attach it to the cloth and used a sponge to add a small hat on the top. Sir (Dileep) got me shoes from Russia. It became my design, an identity and that’s the only way I show up on stage. I became a professional clown,” he adds.
Dealing with wife’s death
But other things were happening in the backdrop of this journey. One day as Pushkaran was getting ready for a show, Dilip asked him to stop and go home. He found out his wife had passed away — but as they say, the show must go on, Pushkaran got on the stage.
After they got married, Pushkaran was mostly far away travelling along with the circus. But he recalls spending Rs 150 every day on phone calls to have long conversations with his wife. She was a coir worker and died after a poisonous snake bit her while she was working.
“I didn’t see the body. I don’t keep her photo, not in my mobile, not in my wallet. I have even deleted our wedding photos. I can’t look at them. I loved her more than anything in this world. So I will always have some resentment about it. I can never make my peace with this loss,” recalls Pushkaran.
Nevertheless, he buried his grief and focused on providing more for his children — his son was a three-year-old and his daughter was only six months old when his wife died. He proudly says his son is studying film editing and his daughter is in the final year of medical school.
Pushkaran started interacting more with people visiting the circus and taking selfies with them. But his son didn’t know he was a clown. (Express Photo by Arul Horizon)
He started getting more and more popular as a clown when the Rambo Circus decided to break the barriers between the audience and the clown. So, Pushkaran started interacting more with people visiting the circus and taking selfies with them. But his son didn’t know he was a clown.
“I didn’t want his friends to tease him saying his father was a joker. But one day, I asked my son-in-law to get him to one of the shows in Pune. After the show, a huge group of people lined up to take pictures with me and so did my son. I took a selfie with him and asked in Malayalam how he liked his father’s performance. He was very proud,” says Pushkaran.
Beating alcoholism
But through all the success, Pushkaran had his share of bad times — there was a patch when he slipped into alcoholism. “I would drink so much that whenever I passed by, people around me would block their noses because I would stink of alcohol,” said Pushkaran.
It was the father of Sujit, P T Dilip, founder of Rambo Circus who reminded him to get his life back on track. That gave Pushkaran the push he needed to quit alcohol. “It is false that people say once you get addicted, you can’t get out of it. If you want to, you can,” says Pushkaran.
He has performed in different countries and also visited the famous Monte Carlo Circus to enjoy the show. (Express Photo by Arul Horizon)
But Pushkaran still has days when he can’t deal with the whirlwind of emotions within him. So when he feels low, he books a flight to any place he feels like. “I tell Sir I need a five-day break. Because if I am not happy, I can’t make others laugh. I travel to a new place, but I never leave my hotel room. I sit and cry and be by myself. It’s the time I need. When I come back, I mix around with everyone and go back to my usual routine,” says Pushkaran.
Along the way, Pushkaran dealt with life’s ups and downs and became a world-famous clown. He has performed in different countries and also visited the famous Monte Carlo Circus to enjoy the show.
At the Monte Carlo Circus, he remembers meeting an American who took him by surprise. “He came to me and showed me a photo on his phone. I couldn’t understand English. Then Sir (Dilip) explained to me he had framed several of my photos and put them up in his house,” said Pushkaran.
Even at 53, there is still no stopping him. “I want to die wearing makeup, that’s what will bring me peace. What is the point of anything if I die without my make-up on? I keep joking with Sir that if that happens, I will haunt your circus forever”.