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Topless Kate,Clueless Will

The woman who has become a fashion icon finds herself undressed in the very magazines that made her one.

Written by Namrata Zakaria |
September 19, 2012 3:20:02 am

The woman who has become a fashion icon finds herself undressed in the very magazines that made her one

I’m sure no one wants to feel like the princess this week. Or,as it were,the duchess. Pictures of a topless Kate Middleton,or Catherine,Duchess of Cambridge,are all over the internet after they were first published by a French tabloid. The royal couple was holidaying at a cousin’s estate in Provence,France,and sunbathing topless. A paparazzo sneaked up with his long lens from the bushes and took several balcony shots of Will and Kate.

The irony is hard to miss — the woman whose wardrobe and fashion sensibilities are the most admired across the world,finds herself undressed in the very magazines that made her a

style icon.

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William is furious,the couple has decided to sue the French magazine as well as the photographer. Meanwhile,an Italian and an Irish tabloid have picked up the images and published them. Will and Kate are expected to fight a multinational legal battle to keep further images from cropping up. But in the past week,everyone who has a computer or a smartphone (which pretty much means everyone),has had a glimpse already.

The British royals can barely contain their own press invasions. News of the World had to shut down because of the phone-hacking scandal and The Sun only recently published naked pictures of the other prince,Harry,along with some party girls.

The international press doesn’t give a hoot. The editor of the Italian Chi that has published Kate’s sunbathing pictures,has stated that “not even a direct call from the Queen” would stop him. The Irish tabloid’s editor Mike O’Kane says that Ireland doesn’t view the royals the same way as the British: “She’s not our future Queen. The duchess would be no different from any other celeb pic (sic) we would get in,for example Rihanna or Lady Gaga”.

A spokesperson for the royal family has stated that the couple wants to stay calm and move on,though the legal action will continue and the journalists will probably be thrown in jail. Wouldn’t it be nicer if they really meant it?

It would be wonderful if Kate had just laughed the whole thing off. There’s no point in harping on the invasion of your privacy if you were naïve enough to sunbathe topless,knowing you are a major paparazzi target (Incidentally,Princess Diana was photographed sunbathing topless as were Princess Caroline and Princess Stephanie of Monaco). In keeping with the ‘modern royal’ approach that Will-Kate propagate,Kate should have just stated that they had fun,and behaved as any young couple in love and in the South of France would do.

If the French can go topless,why can’t the English? Interestingly,in June 2009,the English Foreign Commonwealth Office reported the results of an official government survey of 30,000 citizens that 24 percent females said they have sunbathed topless when abroad.

Will and Kate lived together in Anglesy before they married. His father is divorced. Her parents supposedly split the wedding costs with the Queen (or at least pitched in). Doesn’t this make them the most normal of all royals?

But what is not normal,clearly,is how skinny she is. The first thing you notice on seeing the scrawny princess naked is that you can count her ribs very easily. Even for a fashion lover,there is sometimes such a thing as too thin. Forget about the lawyer’s office. Will should take Kate to the nearest Pret-A-Manger and get her a sandwich instead.

namratanow@gmail.com

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