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Wednesday, May 25, 2022

I declare war

Okay so if no one else will do it,I will. I hereby declare war. You have pushed me to the brink of my tolerance.

March 7, 2009 5:02:59 am

Okay so if no one else will do it,I will. I hereby declare war. You have pushed me to the brink of my tolerance. You have attacked me when I am relaxed and unsuspecting. You have bombed me on the streets,in my buses,my trains,my monuments,at my dining table even. And now you attack me as I play. Enough.

Is this the sound of one hand clapping? Of one boy playing a game that no one else knows the rules of? Who are you,show yourself. Come out into the light,where we can talk. Or fight like men. Or does that make you afraid?

Do you have the intellect to argue,discuss,debate,put forth your point of view? Or would you prefer to let your Kalashnikovs speak for you in subtitles of hate while you hide behind their smouldering barrels,feeling brave for having triumphed temporarily over the weak,no,not the weak,just the unsuspecting?

And what are you fighting for any way? Land? Money? Religion? A way of life? Do you even know yourself? Have you ever known? Perhaps once you did,but I bet you no longer have a clue!

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Or is it just that now you are fighting for yourself? For the power that you wield over a few easily misguided men? For the money that dark,hidden forces pour your way?

Or are you just fighting because now you have nothing else to do? Isn’t that true?

Isn’t it true that you are unemployable? That you are neutered,castrated,untesticled,when it comes to creativity or productivity? That you no longer have any life skills,that in any normal peaceful life you would be unsuccessful,weak,conquered?

I do not know. And frankly I no longer care. My only goal now is to do everything within my power to get rid of you. To exterminate you,slap you with my chappal like a cockroach,for no better death are you deserving of.

First I will protect myself and my loved ones. I will make it impossible for your soldiers with their rucksacks and their guns and their satellite phones to move anywhere unnoticed. Impossible to rent safe houses,to bribe cops and other officials,to bring in your guns and your explosives through check-nakas unnoticed,to access my Wifi,to walk on my street,to buy provisions from my kiraana store,to land in my fishing village,to infiltrate into my life.

Then I will find you. I will use every technology known to humankind and I will find you. I will hunt you down like a cur,smell your fear,as you have smelt mine.

Then I will surround you. And slowly tighten the noose,the fence beyond which you may not go or breathe or operate. Isolate you to a country,a city,a village,a cave,a dirt-hole in the ground. Starve you of your food,your water,your lines of communication propagating hate,your support.

Show you no mercy,no protection under my law. Eventually I will eliminate you,I will,I promise,I will.

And do not doubt me,do not smirk in your overconfidence,do not point your crooked finger at my previous inaction,or slap your thigh in mirth at my benevolence,my unwillingness to stoop to your level. Do not laugh at me around your bonfires and tell stories of my weakness.

For all that has changed now. I cannot go back to that. I cannot pretend to be at peace. Too much is different now and I know I have only one recourse.

And so I declare war. And I know it is a war I will win. For now I am more than a billion people plus 178 million people plus 19 million people. (I hope.)

(Contact the columnist at

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