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Sunday, February 23, 2020

Labour Day

To the challenges of childbirth are added the necessity to look good.

Written by Leher Kala | Published: April 15, 2013 3:34:05 am

I recently read a snippet somewhere about Kim Kardashian and her plan to wear perfect make-up before being wheeled into the maternity ward for her baby’s delivery. Apparently,somewhere between contractions,oxytocin drips,doctors and chaos,Kardashian thinks she will find time to touch up her lip gloss. For those who’ve heard Kardashian’s name pop up everywhere for no apparent reason,she is a reality TV creation and occasional actor,currently pregnant with her first child. My initial reaction was that this socialite must be a real airhead and totally out of touch with reality if she’s concerned about lipstick during labour. Clearly she has no clue about the ordeal she’s in for (and ordeal it is for every last female put on this earth). Instead,along with the infant list she allegedly has a make-up list for the hospital. If only labour lasted as long as one episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

Personally,I love make-up and I’m all for looking your best at all times,but this is one time in your life where you’re not going to give a damn about your appearance. Your mind is elsewhere as it should be,and if it’s not,something’s weird. But a quick Google search tells me lots of to-be moms rush to the parlour for last-minute pedicures and manicures and blow dry before going into labour. Looking posh while you push also isn’t as crazy as it sounds. Sure,it sounds a little bizarre but there are enough appearance-obsessed people to make it sort of acceptable.

There is a YouTube video My Labor Make-up Products! There’s make-up advice for the hospital on babycenter. com,a serious and wonderful website to prepare new parents for birth and right after. I’ve learnt that MAC’s Pro Longwear Foundation and Long Wear Lip Color can endure the rigours of a difficult labour and won’t sweat off.

Apparently pre- and postpartum primping up isn’t just for celebrities,since in the social media world nowadays,everyone’s a star. So if you want to upload a picture on Facebook within five minutes of pushing out a kid,then you better have your blush on brush ready. Hats off to all those moms who care enough to put in that extra effort to look like a million bucks right after their ordeal since all I could think of was which sleeping pill to take.

Like most of the world right after the shock of childbirth,I looked like a scary lunatic from one of those Mahesh Bhatt horror flicks that nobody watches. I live in mortal fear of anyone ever discovering those photographs,taken without my permission by annoying family members. All of us have similar cringe-worthy photographs,taken at our worst,and unfortunately,they’re documenting one of the most significant moments in your life — the birth of your little baby. If I had to do it again,I would reach for my compact and hair brush,because at least then I could see my son’s first pictures without wanting to cut myself out of them. Blame the glamorisation of childbirth on movies such as Three Idiots and Knocked Up,where make-up artists acknowledge that labour is hard work by wetting the actors’ hair,which delicately wraps around their shoulders making them look even more diva like,rather than the screaming banshees they would be if it was real.

Then there are the likes of Victoria Beckham,who leave the maternity ward in their pre-pregnancy skinny jeans,which logically is inexplicable unless your plastic surgeon sat in on your delivery and did his bit alongside. If it took nine months to put it on,you can bet it’s going to take nine months or longer to shed. Facebook and Twitter have increased social pressure to look fabulous even in your most difficult moments but there’s no better time to take a completely justifiable vanity break. And a couple of seriously scary photographs in your archives are important,just for perspective. Facebook can wait.

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