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Expert explains: How can parents spot early signs of stress in kids — and what to do about it

Child psychologist Dr Bhavna Barmi said red flags could include talk of hopelessness, a sudden withdrawal from family or friends, or loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities

4 min readUpdated: Dec 8, 2025 05:43 PM IST

Watch out for significant changes in sleep, appetite, academic performance, or marked mood swings. (Photo/Canva)

Counsellors in schools across Delhi are reporting heightened levels of stress and earlier onset of anxiety among students. An eminent senior clinical and child psychologist, Dr Bhavna Barmi, also the founder of Happiness Studio, analysed the patterns of behaviour that are visible across age groups, and listed the steps families can take to build emotional safety at home.

What emotional and behavioural issues are most commonly seen among primary and senior school children these days?

In primary school children aged 6-11, increased anxiety (separation, school performance), somatic complaints (stomach/headaches), temper/ defiant outbursts, sleep problems, toileting/ regression (in younger children), and attention/ peer problems are the most common.

Among secondary students aged 12-18, the concerns often include social anxiety, depressive symptoms, self-critical/ perfectionistic behaviour, academic stress, risky online behaviours, impulsive conduct and occasional self-harm ideation or attempts.

All these issues have evolved – and we now see faster escalation and earlier onset of anxiety/ depression, more school-related performance and humiliation stress, and digital-fuelled peer comparison. The problems are often amplified by continuous social media exposure and reduced unstructured peer play.

Why do children appear more sensitive or fragile today compared to a few years ago?

Several forces shape this. Intense academic pressure and high-stakes testing, ubiquitous social media, constant comparisons, curated lives, and cyberbullying. Also, reduced free and unstructured play, and less face-to-face coping practice.

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Parenting styles matter: both overprotection and performance-focus can limit resilience development among children.

There is the issue of stigma and low mental-health literacy in some schools and communities, so problems go unnoticed until they have worsened significantly.

As clinicians, we emphasise early, low-stigma conversations and routine emotional check-ins – small, steady parental curiosity and validation protect children more than grand interventions done too late.

In what specific ways can parents monitor children’s digital lives without becoming controlling?

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Parents should co-create digital rules: negotiate screen times, public vs private content, and ‘no-phone’ zones (meals/ bedtime).

The focus should be on behaviour and well being, not spying. They should ask about online experiences and friends; show interest in what the children enjoy.

Use collaborative monitoring – agree on apps/ devices that allow parental oversight transparently. Teach children privacy, critical thinking, and online safety skills rather than only forbidding platforms.

Intervene when online interactions cause distress. Remove or restrict access temporarily while discussing alternatives.

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What harm can overprotective or ‘helicopter’ parenting cause to children, and how can parents find a balance?

Such parenting reduces children’s problem-solving practice, fosters dependence, increases anxiety when facing failure, and can diminish self-efficacy.

The balance comes when parents support and scaffold rather than solve. Give graded responsibilities, allow safe failures, and celebrate effort over outcomes. Step in more for safety risks, step back for manageable everyday problems.

After a distressing school incident, what should parents do at home to create safety and openness?

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Parents must pause media exposure of the incident, and protect children from graphic details. Provide the child reassurance with words like ‘You might be worried… What’s on your mind?’, and validate their emotions and normalise seeking help from a school counsellor or a therapist.

What are the early-warning signs that parents should never ignore?

Red flags could include talk of hopelessness, ‘I wish I weren’t here’, etc. A sudden, sustained withdrawal from family or friends, or loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities, are signs.

Watch out for significant changes in sleep, appetite, academic performance, or marked mood swings. Also, increased substance use, aggressive outbursts, or giving away prized possessions.

Vidheesha Kuntamalla

Vidheesha Kuntamalla is a Senior Correspondent at The Indian Express, based in New Delhi. She is known for her investigative reporting on higher education policy, international student immigration, and academic freedom on university campuses. Her work consistently connects policy decisions with lived realities, foregrounding how administrative actions, political pressure, and global shifts affect students, faculty, and institutions. Professional Profile Core Beat: Vidheesha covers education in Delhi and nationally, reporting on major public institutions including the University of Delhi (DU), Jawaharlal Nehru University (JNU), Jamia Millia Islamia, the IITs, and the IIMs. She also reports extensively on private and government schools in the National Capital Region. Prior to joining The Indian Express, she worked as a freelance journalist in Telangana and Andhra Pradesh for over a year, covering politics, rural issues, women-centric issues, and social justice. Specialisation: She has developed a strong niche in reporting on the Indian student diaspora, particularly the challenges faced by Indian students and H-1B holders in the United States. Her work examines how geopolitical shifts, immigration policy changes, and campus politics impact global education mobility. She has also reported widely on: * Mental health crises and student suicides at IITs * Policy responses to campus mental health * Academic freedom and institutional clampdowns at JNU, South Asian University (SAU), and Delhi University * Curriculum and syllabus changes under the National Education Policy Her recent reporting has included deeply reported human stories on policy changes during the Trump administration and their consequences for Indian students and researchers in the US. Reporting Style Vidheesha is recognised for a human-centric approach to policy reporting, combining investigative depth with intimate storytelling. Her work often highlights the anxieties of students and faculty navigating bureaucratic uncertainty, legal precarity, and institutional pressure. She regularly works with court records, internal documents, official data, and disciplinary frameworks to expose structural challenges to academic freedom. Recent Notable Articles (Late 2024 & 2025) 1. Express Investigation Series JNU’s fault lines move from campus to court: University fights students and faculty (November 2025) An Indian Express investigation found that since 2011, JNU has appeared in over 600 cases before the Delhi High Court, filed by the administration, faculty, staff, students, and contractual workers across the tenures of three Vice-Chancellors. JNU’s legal wars with students and faculty pile up under 3 V-Cs | Rs 30-lakh fines chill campus dissent (November 2025) The report traced how steep monetary penalties — now codified in the Chief Proctor’s Office Manual — are reshaping dissent and disciplinary action on campus. 2. International Education & Immigration ‘Free for a day. Then came ICE’: Acquitted after 43 years, Indian-origin man faces deportation — to a country he has never known (October 2025) H-1B $100,000 entry fee explained: Who pays, who’s exempt, and what’s still unclear? (September 2025) Khammam to Dallas, Jhansi to Seattle — audacious journeys in pursuit of the American dream after H-1B visa fee hike (September 2025) What a proposed 15% cap on foreign admissions in the US could mean for Indian students (October 2025) Anxiety on campus after Trump says visas of pro-Palestinian protesters will be cancelled (January 2025) ‘I couldn’t believe it’: F-1 status of some Indian students restored after US reverses abrupt visa terminations (April 2025) 3. Academic Freedom & Policy Exclusive: South Asian University fires professor for ‘inciting students’ during stipend protests (September 2025) Exclusive: Ministry seeks explanation from JNU V-C for skipping Centre’s meet, views absence ‘seriously’ (July 2025) SAU rows after Noam Chomsky mentions PM Modi, Lankan scholar resigns, PhD student exits SAU A series of five stories examining shrinking academic freedom at South Asian University after global scholar Noam Chomsky referenced Prime Minister Narendra Modi during an academic interaction, triggering administrative unease and renewed debate over political speech, surveillance, and institutional autonomy on Indian campuses. 4. Mental Health on Campuses In post-pandemic years, counselling rooms at IITs are busier than ever; IIT-wise data shows why (August 2025) Campus suicides: IIT-Delhi panel flags toxic competition, caste bias, burnout (April 2025) 5. Delhi Schools These Delhi government school grads are now success stories. Here’s what worked — and what didn’t (February 2025) ‘Ma’am… may I share something?’ Growing up online and alone, why Delhi’s teens are reaching out (December 2025) ... Read More

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