Robin said he has always been proud of his Sikh roots. “In Germany, I don’t wear a turban, but I have always been very open about my father being a Sikh… I have always been very proud of being a half-Sikh,” he told The Indian Express a day after the grand wedding.

The story behind the Punjab wedding plan

Asked why the wedding was planned in Punjab, the family recounted an unfulfilled wish from four decades back. In the early 1980s, Robin’s father, Jagtar Singh Toor, went to Germany in search of a livelihood, like thousands of Sikh migrants. Three years later, Jagtar married a German woman, Annegret Rölleke-Singh. They could not come to India for the wedding, and had a court marriage in Germany. The couple had two children – Robin and his younger sister Jenny. They grew up in Germany, but would visit Punjab during vacations to spend time with their paternal grandparents.

Robin with his father late Jagtar Singh who had migrated to Germany. (Special Arrangement)

Jagtar’s parents, Dr Balbir Singh Toor and Jaswant Kaur, had migrated from Pakistan after Partition, and the family settled in Chanderkala village near Tohana (now in Haryana). The family eventually moved to Mohali after Jagtar built a new home for his parents.

In 2017, Jagtar died of a heart attack. Robin said, “My father married and died in Germany. Though he often visited Punjab, his wedding and death rituals happened in Germany… He never told me that my wedding must be held according to Sikh rituals, but I know he would have loved it.”

Couple during laavan phere at a gurdwara in Mohali. (Special arrangement)

“No one forced me, there was no pressure… but my father married my mother in Germany… My late paternal grandparents never got a chance to witness a wedding in our family in Punjab. I thought this was the least I could do for our family,” he said.

Robin said his father and his younger brother have died, but their four sisters were overjoyed when he shared his wedding plan. “So all my buas (aunts) were really happy when I told them about my decision to get married in Punjab. I had always told them that I can’t promise that I will marry an Indian woman, but the wedding will happen in Punjab,” said Robin, showing Pia’s name written with mehendi on his hands.

Robin’s mother, Annegret Rölleke-Singh, 69, said it was a deja vu. The first time she visited India to meet her in-laws was over four decades ago, with little Robin in her arms. Since then, there have been many visits, but this one was special. “I am so happy Pia understood why Robin wanted to get married in Punjab. She understood his feelings for his late father and honoured his promise,” said Annegret, who mostly speaks German but understands Punjabi.

Both families together in Mohali. (Special Arrangement)

Sharing her love story with Jagtar, she said, “I was a nurse and he worked at a steel company. His simplicity won me over. He was very persistent in his efforts to convince me to marry him. We married in 1983. We then left our jobs and started a cloth shop in Wuppertal in 1994. We always respected each other’s cultures and family backgrounds.”

“Jagtar kept telling me about Sikh values and culture, and the more I learnt, the more I respected it. Initially, both sides of our families were skeptical, but once we married, they accepted us. I started wearing Punjabi suits whenever we visited a gurdwara in Germany. I also learnt to cook Punjabi food as my husband loved it. Dal makhni, aloo gobhi, saag…I can make them all. In Punjabi, I say: “Ki haal hai..roti khaa lo’,” says Annegret.

“The first time I visited India to meet my in-laws was after Robin was born, around 1985. My parents-in-law showered me with so much love and blessings that I never regretted marrying a Punjabi. My father-in-law used to buy a gold ornament as shagun each time I visited India,” she said.

Pia with her mother-in-law and mother (both Germans), showing mehendi on her palms. (Photo: Divya Goyal)

Annegret, her daughter Jenny, Pia, her mother Regina, and Pia’s two friends wore traditional Punjabi suits at the wedding and sang and danced to Punjabi folk songs.

Pia does not understand Punjabi. “Whenever a Punjabi song played, and everyone laughed and danced, I laughed too. They also played German music to make us feel at home, and it was really nice of them,” she said.

How Robin pitched Punjab wedding to Pia

Pia works as a social worker, and Robin is a basketball coach. They decided to marry about three years back. “When he told me he wanted the wedding to happen in India, I honoured his feelings. My only concern was that Indian weddings are so big, and the bride is the centre of attention. I did not want to end up hurting anyone’s sentiments. When all went well, I was relieved,” she said.

Couple during their jaldi ceremony. Robin’s German mother applying haldi to Pia, also a German. (Image: Special arrangements)

Robin said they showed Pia YouTube videos to prepare her mentally for the wedding. “We had to show her some YouTube videos to prepare her mentally for heavy outfits, loud music, dance, etc. No one had any issues with the wedding happening in India. The only concern was logistics, arrangements, travel, etc. But my family in India planned everything and made it happen,” he said.

Robin’s cousin Navtej Singh said the family had accepted its two German daughters-in-law wholeheartedly. “Robin’s mother was always our maami ji (aunt). We never saw her as a German or an Indian. We wanted Robin to have a good partner, and seeing Pia, we know he has found one.”

The couple will host another set of celebrations in Germany.