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‘Life as a parent is constantly evolving, more so if you’re a single parent’: Tusshar Kapoor on fatherhood

"I realised I wanted to be a father at some point in my mid 30s... While my paternal instincts were strong, I didn't know I would end up doing it in such an unconventional manner," he said

Written by Indrakshi Dutta | Guwahati |
February 7, 2022 11:57:54 am
tusshar-kapoorActor-producer and author Tusshar Kapoor with son Laksshya Kapoor. (Source: Tusshar Kapoor/Instagram)

Actor-producer Tusshar Kapoor, who recently turned author with Bachelor Dad, isn’t afraid of parenthood. In fact, he describes his parenting journey with son Laksshya as a “rejuvenating, refreshing, fulfilling, and satisfying experience”, one that he “cannot get enough of”.

Kapoor, who recently participated in the Apeejay Kolkata Literary Festival 2022, said he never harboured aspirations to become an author. “I was sure it wasn’t my cup of tea until 2019, when my close confidantes encouraged me to write a book,” he said.

In an exclusive interview with indianexpress.com, he shared fascinating insights into his fatherhood journey, his experience with IVF and surrogacy, the support and encouragement he received from friends and family, and how he continues to charge on an unconventional path.

Edited excerpts:

 

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A post shared by Tusshar Kapoor (@tusshark89)

 

How would you describe your journey as a father?

I won’t be able to answer this question in a few words, however, it was a complete joyride. I won’t call it a rollercoaster, because there were no downs, only ups— difficult ups, time consuming ups, and tidy ups. It has been a rejuvenating, refreshing, fulfilling, satisfying and experience. That’s the simplest I can put it.

Have you had to make several lifestyle changes since the birth of your son?

Yes, there have been several due to the whole aspect of spending time with my son, bonding with him, going through milestones, especially amid the lockdown periods. Naturally, different stages of life need lifestyle changes and more so when you have a child. You have to reorganise, change and reschedule your day around your child, and I believe one has to be flexible at all times to adapt. I’ve had my fair share of changed circumstances and I’ve embraced them all happily because they are worth it.

What was the initial reaction of your friends, family and loved ones when you shared that you wanted to become a father?

My family and my friends were all very supportive. They were shocked at first when I told them what I had embarked upon, but afterwards, they were all positive, reassured and inspired. The only thing that everyone said to me, especially my family, is that I have to be completely ready to be a parent. They reminded me that if I have taken the plunge, then it’s my responsibility. They assured me saying that if I am ready to do it, then it doesn’t matter what anybody else thinks.

 

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A post shared by Tusshar Kapoor (@tusshark89)

 

When did you realise that you wanted to be a father?

I realised I wanted to be a father at some point in my mid 30s. I’ve mentioned this in my book, that I used to feel a certain affinity towards kids and felt that I was ready to take on the responsibility of fatherhood. While my paternal instincts were strong, I didn’t know I would end up doing it in such an unconventional manner.

While surrogacy is becoming common in India, it is still not openly discussed. Did you face any prejudices? What was the entire journey like?

I was introduced to Dr Firuza Parik by a few wonderful people and she literally handheld me through the entire process. Of course, I had to do my needful, and the rest was taken care of by her fertility center. When you are guided by the right medical team and the best doctors in the business, it doesn’t become something that overwhelms you. The tougher part was making up my own mind and that takes time. It’s tough. But once you do it, there are people to assist you, to guide you, and to help you through the entire process.

I didn’t really face any prejudices prior, because I didn’t announce the birth of my son until he was born. But even after he was born, he has been welcomed by society, by fans, media, relatives and mostly the responses have been positive.

How has fatherhood affected your life?

I think one example would be the fact that I am talking about my life through a book and through interviews about the book! It just goes to show how much my life has changed after my son was born. I never thought I’d write a book, my son inspired me to do that and it’s been such a different and beautiful journey, one that has really made my life complete.

What does a day in the life of a single father look like?

 

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A post shared by Tusshar Kapoor (@tusshark89)

Mornings are usually dedicated to the gym and then I try to spend some time with my son if he’s not at school. If I don’t see him in the morning, and if I am not shooting, I usually try to spend time with him post school. We go outside in the evening, take a stroll around the park, come back home and read a book before bedtime. If I’m shooting however, I try to FaceTime him if I’m not able to come home before he goes to sleep. Life as a parent is constantly evolving and changing, more so if you’re a single parent.

What was your writing journey like? Did you always want to be an author?

I never had aspirations to become an author. I was sure that it wasn’t my cup of tea until 2019 when my close confidantes encouraged me to write a book. I considered penning down my thoughts, perhaps scout for the right publishing firm to release a book on my journey as a parent. Mystically around the same time, I got an offer! Everything fell into place at the right time.

 

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A post shared by Tusshar Kapoor (@tusshark89)

What are your expectations from the book?

I’m expecting a lot because I’ve worked very hard for this book, and I have written it to the best of my abilities. I’m very, very satisfied with the book and I have gotten great reactions from people who have read it so far, and they appreciated the way I’ve written it. However, I’m trying to keep my expectations contained because you have to hand it over to the audience or the readers, as you would say, to really give that final verdict.

Are you planning on writing anything new in the future?

Yes, I have thought about whether I should write another book or not, but there’s no idea that has come to my mind. Maybe after five years, if I could think about stuff that would fill up part two to Bachelor Dad, I would probably start writing that, but it’s too early to even think about it. So, no, I don’t have plans for another book as of now.

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