She is the wife of an Army officer and she’ll tell you what it really means to be one

She says that there were times when the only way they could communicate was through letters.

By: Express Web Desk | Published: October 1, 2016 1:51 pm
She'll tell you what it means to be the wife of an Army officer She’ll tell you what it means to be the wife of an Army officer/ Humans of Bombay

We all are well aware of the hardships officers in the defence forces have to face. Putting their life at risk to defend the country and its citizens, the officers often have to stay away from their families for months at length.

Father of Ashok Kumar Singh, one of the soldiers who died during the Uri attack, has been blind for 20 years and was waiting for him at their home in Bihar. He had promised his wife that he’ll take her with him once he got the accommodation but the day never came.

This story of the wife of an Army officer posted on Facebook page Humans of Bombay explains exactly what it feels to live that life in constant fear, sometimes waiting for days to get a call from him informing her he’s okay and being a part of their daughter’s life despite being away for months.

A lawyer by profession, she couldn’t move around the country with him so the two decided that she’ll settle in Mumbai and pursue her career. She says that there were times when the only way they could communicate was through letters. “We see each other maybe once in every 4 months, but those 15 days of seeing and being with him mean everything to me; to us”

She also makes a very important point saying that we should celebrate our ‘Jawans’ every day and acknowledge their passion for the country.

Read her full post here.

“We first met when I was studying law at Symbiosis and he was a cadet in the Academy. It all started out in a funny manner — My friend and I would take a 11 Rupee bus ride every weekend to the NDA only because the food was much cheaper in their canteen! That’s how we became friends but pretty soon he moved to the IMA to Dehradun and as an officer he was posted all over India. Believe it or not, the only way we kept in touch through the whole time was through letters. It was 2002 and cell phones had just come in, so we would write to each other about our days; about our lives. They were all innocent letters, but they were amazing because it gave me an insight into how simple he is as a person.

6 years went by like this, and finally after that he sent me an SMS saying – ‘I really feel for you and I would like to be with you’— and at that point it all just fit. There was no over the top proposal, or exorbitant gesture…but there was love and stability.

After marriage I moved with him to Bhatinda, where I was working as a lawyer from home. Those two and a half years that we were together were so special, but being a professional I knew that I couldn’t move around every 2 years with him and some of the places he was posted the only job available to me was that of a teacher, and that’s not what I became a lawyer for.

Together, we took the decision that I would move to Bombay to pursue my career and he would continue his postings. It’s tough, it’s really tough but it puts so many other things in perspective. For one – our long letters have become long whatsapp conversations!

We see each other maybe once in every 4 months, but those 15 days of seeing and being with him mean everything to me; to us — we have a 3 year old daughter. I feel like there are no words to speak of an army man’s passion towards his country. Here we complain about bonus and leave dates, but in the army you’re at the same rank, with the same pay for a decade before moving up. He’s currently in aviation, but there are days when I wake up with anxiety an ask him not to fly. There are days when I miss him so much and my daughter will console me and tell me it’s for our country. He’s such a good father that even though he’s so far away, he’s involved with her school work — he often makes her recite what she learnt in class on the phone.

That’s the thing, we only celebrate our Jawaans once they’ve lost their lives, but we need to celebrate them everyday. My husband has lost so many of his batchmates to war or technical failures. There are days where there’s no communication between us because he’s in an area where there’s no network and finally after days he’ll call us up to tell us he’s okay. It’s so difficult for us, and even though this is his profession, I don’t think there’s been a day where he’s complained — everyday he wakes up with a smile on his face because he’s serving his country.”

Have something to add to this story? Tell us in the comments below.

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  1. K
    Oct 1, 2016 at 11:09 am
    a painful but lovely and encouraging life of a wife .........I am not married to man in uniform but I am definitely in love with them.....the bravery is worth infinite praises. And I only wished my taxes did not go to hi Dynasty but to those who protect my county and for building its infrastructure and economic growth.
    1. K
      krishna kumar
      Oct 1, 2016 at 9:05 am
      Her narration is from heart of how things are on the ground. It is difficult for the people in street to understand the problem of Force's personnel. Well written.
      1. N
        Oct 1, 2016 at 10:09 am
        Here we have Jawans sacrificing everything for the Country and there Salman Khans supporting the stani Actors for keeping silent.
        1. M
          Oct 1, 2016 at 11:14 am
          Simple yet very mature ....its not a story.. its LIFE... HIGHEST RESPECT TO YOU MADAM...YOU ARE A HERO....WISH YOU ALL THE JOY IN YOUR FUTURE...That's all i can say..