There are many of you reading this, who are struggling with their figuring yourselves out. Be it dissatisfaction at your jobs, a family crisis, the loss of a loved one or being burdened with expectations. Most of us, are living, but seldom is it for ourselves.
Himanshu Singh from Mumbai too, was living his life in shadows; that is, until January, this year. He took to Facebook recently, to add a very important life event to his profile. He added “Came out of the Closet” on October 8, 2016, and wrote an inspiring post discussing his identity and sexual orientation for those willing to give him a chance and read. Talking to Indianexpress.com, Singh said how he was absolutely sure about what he was doing, although there were a lot of challenges and apprehensions that he had to face throughout his journey.
When the 27-year-old recently came out to his family and friends, he was actually surprised to see the kind of warmth and love that he got in return. So much so, his mother even asked him if he was dating anybody or not.
“The purpose behind writing that post was to render courage to all those people who are still struggling to come out of shadows and that it was completely normal, not a disease or a phase,” the IIM Kozhikode graduate said.
This is the text of his Facebook post.
“While I am changing the history here, it is my sincere request to share this message to give courage to those who are still living in shadows. Please do not hesitate in sharing. If you hesitate, I lose. We lose!
The one thing that I learned from Harry Potter saga is that nobody should ever live in a closet. Tetris taught me that when you try to ‘fit’ in, you will disappear.
I am much more than my sexuality. My close friends would know me as a writer. Childhood friends would know me as a painter. IIMK friends would know me as a pathetic actor and as an amateur photographer. I am an ambitious soul who yearn to learn. I aspire to become a great pianist someday. How does my sexuality define me as an individual? But it is certainly one of the most fundamental part of my being. My sexuality is not a phase, it never was. It is not a disease, it is not a mental disability, it is not a choice, and definitely not a disgrace. I was born this way. I realized it when I was 14. It is so saddening to say that I had to strive for normalcy to be in societal norms all these years. It smothered me for quite a long time. Why do people advice to tell it to only those who matter? Why it has to be hushed and shushed?
People reading this post would ask – Does it matter to anyone? Why do I need to shout the truth aloud? Does it change anything? Probably! If I lose friends, family and my loved ones over this, it is important to me. If this post could give courage to others, this is important to them. I don’t expect support as much as I expect respect as a human being.
There are so many people out there who are still struggling to come out. I just want to give a message that you are not alone and I am with you. Somehow the below lines inspired me to come out –
“We don’t have to be ordinary, Make your best mistakes,
‘Cause we don’t have the time to be sorry, be the life of the party!
I’m telling you to take your shot it might be scary, Hearts are gonna break,
But we don’t have the time to be sorry, so baby be the life of the party!”
Right now my brain is going 2 million miles per hour. From internal turmoil to acceptance. Describing them in words is not easy. This is the strongest decision of my life. My hands are a little cold but the heart is confident. A new man is born today. Life will never be the same from now on. And I am going to love it anyway.
Not everyone was privileged enough to be a Mathew’s (my Humanities teacher in IIMK) student. Do not make wrong assumptions, notions. Have an educated view. Ask honest questions. Respect Individuality.
REMEMBER – Your assumptions, lack of knowledge, ignorance and phobias are killing your closeted friends. Everyday!
I am so grateful to my parents, my brother, close friends and flatmates who supported me immensely on this.
Special Note: Dear LGBTQ fellows, if you are facing any kind of challenge or need any guidance, please feel free to reach out to me. Call me on (+91-8447798932) or email me (firstname.lastname@example.org), if you think that I may be of some help. You have got only one life. Live it well. Play it well. Don’t be afraid of anything or anyone.
For those who are still wondering on the subject, start your basics here –
*Mic dropped!* …Anyone up for a drink?”
It takes immense courage and determination to share something so sensitive and important on a public platform. Tell us what you thought about Singh’s motivating post. His post has been shared hundreds of times and ‘liked’ widely at the time of writing.