Calling somebody fat has become so de rigueur that it’s hardly considered derogatory any more. If a top does not fit you, you are fat; if you struggle to wear your old pair of jeans you are deemed fat; if your face looks puffy one morning, by general consensus you have gained weight. The statement is thrown around carelessly without thinking much of its repercussion. Something similar happened when Allison Kimmey, a plus-sized model and a swimwear and plus-size fashion connoisseur was called fat by her daughter.
Kimmey, however, did not remain silent and went on explain to her daughter that “no one is fat”, but everyone “has fat” and that provides us with energy. She posted the conversation on her Instagram page and it is winning hearts.
Here’s what she wrote.
“My daughter called me fat today. She was upset I made them get out of the pool and she told her brother that mama is fat. I told her to meet me upstairs so we could chat.
Me: “what did you say about me?”
Her: “I said you were fat, mama, im sorry”
Me: “let’s talk about it. The truth is, I am not fat. No one IS fat. It’s not something you can BE. But I do HAVE fat. We ALL have fat. It protects our muscles and our bones and keeps our bodies going by providing us energy. Do you have fat?”
Her: “yes! I have some here on my tummy”
Me: “that’s right! So do I and so does your brother!”
Her brother: “I don’t have any fat, I’m the skinniest, I just have muscles”
Me: “actually everyone, every single person in the world has fat. But each of us has different amounts.”
Her brother: ” oh right! I have some to protect my big muscles! But you have more than me”
Me: “Yes, that’s true. Some people have a lot, and others don’t have very much. But that doesn’t mean that one person is better than the other, do you both understand?
Both: “yes, mama”
Me: “so can you repeat what I said”
Them: “yes! I shouldn’t say someone is fat because you can’t be just fat, but everyone HAS fat and it’s okay to have different fat”
Me: “exactly right!”
Them: “can we go back to the pool now?”
Me: no ????
Each moment these topics come up i have to choose how I’m going to handle them. Fat is not a bad word in our house. If I shame my children for saying it then I am proving that it is an insulting word and I continue the stigma that being fat is unworthy, gross, comical and undesirable.
Since we don’t call people fat as an insult in my household, I have to assume she internalized this idea from somewhere or someone else. Our children are fed ideas from every angle, you have to understand that that WILL happen: at a friends house whose parents have different values, watching a tv show or movie, overhearing someone at school- ideas about body image are already filtering through their minds. It is our job to continue to be the loudest, most accepting, positive and CONSISTENT voice they hear. So that it can rise above the rest.
Give me a ???? if this resonated w u!
Just do you!”
She posted the same on her Facebook page and her post has more than seven hundred shares at the time of writing. People are applauding her for being so inspirational.
These are some of the reactions.
Kimmey is extremely comfortable with her body, and her Instagram page is an inspiration to many.