He is never short of sixes. Or statements. And modesty is not only only not his middle name, but is also missing altogether from his dictionary. So it is hardly a surprise that Chris Gayle’s autobiography (aptly titled ‘Six Machine’), which has just been released in India and is making waves on Twitter, is replete with a certain degree of self praise. Teammates, rivals, administrators, matches…all receive a mention, but towering above them all is Gayle, in a mode that is almost reminiscent of the legendary Muhammad Ali.
We have just finished the book, and shortlisted eleven of the most outrageous statements made by the man who calls himself a Six Machine. Oh, and World Boss!
“You think you know Chris Gayle. World Boss. The Six Machine. Destroyer of bowlers, demolisher of records, king of the party scene. You are right. You are also wrong. I am complicated. I am all you see and much more you don’t….”
“I’m a man who can grind out a Test triple century and then do it again, a man who on a different day can smash 100 runs off 30 balls. I have hit more T20 sixes than any other man in history; I have stood invincible on a ground for two days while every one of my team-mates fell. I’ve opened a strip bar in my own house; I have started a foundation for poor kids in my home city. Complicated.”
“I’ve changed, but I haven’t changed completely. I mean, you look at a woman, and you’re going to lust over a woman for sure. You’re not going to see a good-looking girl and no thought appear. And I’m sure women do the same as well. A woman look[s] at guys, a woman think like guys. It’s just nature.”
“In India in the early days you can let the bat swing. Never be fooled into thinking India is too straitlaced. They love cricket, so when you ask the questions – Where’s the party? Where’s the girls? – they give you answers. Cricket opens doors, and when the doors open you see the girls, and the models, and the clubs that others do not see.”
“The Tsar of T20, the boss of the boundary boards. I’ve been called a pioneer, and I’ll take that word, even though I’d put it another way: I’m a legend. Most people wouldn’t call themselves that, but I think I am great. Put it more simply: I am great. The things I’ve done, trus’ mi. Serious things I’ve done.”
“Wherever you go you can find the party, and with experience, you find your balance too. I’ve had fun pretty much everywhere. There’s always a spot, no matter what city or continent. You just have to have contacts. World Boss is fun in every way. And I’ve had a lot of fun, in all the areas. Because I’m the boss…I’m da baass of all baass. [sic]”
“There are things only I can get away with. No one else would even try them. Hitting Matthew Hoggard for six fours in an over. Hitting 37 off a single over in the IPL. A century off 30 balls, another one on one leg. If Zlatan Ibrahimovic were a cricketer, it’s the sort of thing he would be trying.”
“I don’t have disasters. I don’t have gambles that don’t look good. If you check my dressing, I feel whatever I pull on I can pull off. It’s the confidence I have in myself. You just give me whatever, I’ll make it look good.”
“On Instagram, I will ‘like’ a lot of pictures. I will ‘like’ pictures of different women, because sometimes you will get a reply that says ,’You make my day, you make my day.’ Everybody has feelings. And when those likes are coming from a superstar, maybe it does feel something different.”
“If I’m going down, I’m going down in style. I’m going down blazing. Going down blazing, swinging the bat, swinging the blade. Even if I’m in the hospital, give me a shot of rum. Gimme a shot a drink, ar-kay [sic]? And then say goodbye…And when it comes, my funeral is going to be a proper party. My funeral is going to be a big dance.”
“Sometime I look at my ‘World Boss’ nickname, and I like it. Other time I look at it, and I look what I have achieved in the game, and I think, how about ‘Universe boss’?”
(Six Machine: I don’t like cricket….I love it by Chris Gayle has been published by Viking, an imprint of Penguin Books, and is available in Indian bookstores for Rs 599)