ICC CRICKET WORLD CUP 2015

If World Cup 2015 was an election

Written by Nimish Dubey | | February 11, 2015 5:56:23 pm

World Cup 2015, World Cup, Cricket World Cup, India, Virat Kohli Kohli, Cricket Virat Kohli will be India’s star campaigner in World Cup was a political battle. (Source: AP)

What if the Cricket World Cup were a political contest instead of a cricketing one? Well, we would have some very interesting slogans (infinitely more interesting than the ones about not giving it back, anyway). Here’s a light-hearted look at how the leading teams would go about asking for votes!

India

Election symbol: A bat with “Rs.” on it.

Election slogan: Ab ki baar, Dhoni sarkaar

“Trust the team that has won the World Cup twice. Trust the country that gave you the IPL. At the cost of its own domestic cricket Trust the team of the country where cricket is a religion which dictates schedules and has multi-tasking leaders! Trust the team with MSD and Virat. Vote Team India.”

PM/CM candidate: MS Dhoni

Star campaigner: Virat Kohli

South Africa

World Cup 2015, World Cup, South Africa, AB de Villiers, Cricket

Election symbol: A batsman hitting his own wicket

Election slogan: Choke Day? No way!

“We have been there We have not done that but we know the path to glory. Much better than any other team. Once again we have the team, the stars, the form. Vote for us and pray that we don’t choke. Vote South Africa.”

PM/ CM candidate: Hashim Amla

Star campaigner: AB de Villiers

Australia

World Cup 2015, Cricket World Cup, Australia, Aussies, Steve Smith, Cricket

Election Symbol: The Baggy Green

Election Slogan: Walking the Talk, Talking the Walk

“We have the winner’s edge We have the loser’s sledge. We have the pace. And some of our wins are minus grace. Vote for the hosts who make guests unwelcome! Vote Australia!”

PM/CM candidate: Michael Clarke

Star campaigner: Steve Smith

Sri Lanka

World Cup 2015, Cricket World Cup, Sri Lanka, Kumar Sangakkara, Mahela Jayawardene, Cricket

Election symbol: A flute (in honour of Murali!)

Election slogan: Vijaya for Jaya(wardene)

“The team that knows what it is to be first as well as second. And also to be winless. That has spin and pace, experience and youth. That has weird bowling actions and straight bats, Vote for the team that has everything…and Ma (-hela and -linga) too! Vote Sri Lanka.”

PM/CM candidate: Angelo Matthews

Star campaigner: Kumar Sangakkara

Pakistan

World Cup 2015, ICC Cricket World Cup, ICC World Cup 2015, Pakistan, Shahid Afridi, Cricket

Election Symbol: A bent bowler’s arm

Election slogan: No Bah, Misbah!

“The team that’s always together. So together that no one knows who’s captain. Our form can be as dodgy as some of our bowling actions We have talent, but are at consistency’s tail-end! Vote for excitement, for uncertainty and unpredictability Vote for Pakistan!”

PM/ CM candidate: Misbah Ul Haq

Star campaigner: Shahid Afridi

New Zealand

World Cup 2015, World Cup, New Zealand, Brendon McCullum, Cricket

Election symbol: A jet black spot

Election slogan: Time for the Also Rans

“The Team that’s always there or thereabouts. That bats, bowl and field with vim and vigour. And always goes back with heads held high. So what if its hands are empty Vote for the team that spills its guts out…and cleans them up too! Vote New Zealand”

PM/CM Candidate: Brendon McCullum

Star campaigner: Ross Taylor

England

World Cup 2015, Cricket World Cup, World Cup, England, Kevin Pietersen

Election slogan: The Stable One

Election symbol: A crown with cobwebs on it

“The team that knows that winning is not everything. Because it knows so much about not winning.The team that is so schooled in tradition That it showed star players and captains the door. Vote for the team that rises above results and personality cults Vote England”

PM/CM candidate: James Anderson

Star Campaigner: Kevin Pietersen (unfortunately, he will not be campaigning for them!)

West Indies

World Cup, Cricket World Cup, Chris Gayle, West Indies, Cricket

Election symbol: A giant with shoes labelled “clay”

Election slogan: Be With WI (because no one is)

“The team that were the first champions. That celebrates diversity within diversity. That has as many uncertainties as cricket itself. And believes in treating triumph and disaster with equal confusion. Vote for the team with the most former captains. Vote West Indies.”

(Note: Zimbabwe, Bangladesh, Afghanistan, Ireland, Scotland, UAE, have been given independent status, rather than those of political parties, as they are not contenders in the real sense.)

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