Monsoon season is here, and so is the season of love. You can choose a wonderful partner and dance in the rain, go on long drives, or choose poorly by not making smart decisions. Here are some ‘unhygienic’ girlfriends that could turn out to be highly harmful this season:
1. Miss Overly Possessive
This kind of girlfriend is a typical rainy season leech. She will slowly creep into your life and feed on your blood until unless you sprinkle some privacy salt on it. She will not only stalk you cyberly, but also physically. The basic tip on social websites that says ‘Please do not share your password with anyone’ will not apply to you when dating an overly possessive girlfriend. Be it your social network accounts or your bank accounts, she will know all the passwords by heart and follow every single step of yours. If you want to live peacefully with a girlfriend like that, I suggest you never speak to another girl, smile at another girl, don’t even think of checking anyone out (not even guys), don’t watch movies with hot chicks in it, don’t talk about your ex or her friends, and don’t EVER like, comment or share ANY female specie’s post online. Just follow these mandatory meditative steps each day in order to achieve a peace of mind.
2. Miss. Digger. Gold Digger
This kind of girlfriend is common these days. She will put a lot of expensive make up on just to hide that green greedy monster face of hers. And if you are wondering where she got all that make up from, then look right into your wallet. The empty space filled with the essence of non-existent money will tell you the whole story. Such girls love shopping and you can expect your weekends to be spent at malls, while you aimlessly follow her around like a puppy with your credit card in one hand and her shoes in other. If you are born rich or you shit money, you are more than welcome to date such girls, but be careful; Gold diggers can find a new prey in minutes.
3. Miss Fabulous Fashionista
Ever seen those fashionably coordinated couples at a party? The guy will either have a matching tie on or other matching accessories on and most importantly, he will have a very tight and suppressed smile on his face while his partner stands there smiling broadly. That my friend, is torture, and trust me when I say this, you don’t want it. A fashionista girlfriend will always be up to date with the fashion and will always want to be in the limelight with the new designs or trends. She will murmur expensive brands in her sleep and dream about owning a whole boutique of Gucci. She is a Gold-digger’s best friend but unlike the Gold digger, she will make you get all-fashionable too. You won’t be able to wear the same clothes, as yesterday anymore and soon she will start buying ‘appropriate’ clothes for you. In few months your wardrobe will change from your own clothes to the wanna-be clothes and there won’t be anything you can do about it.
4. Miss Sadly Insecure
Ah, the overly possessive girlfriend’s sister. An insecure girlfriend will even get insecure if you just think about some other girl. She will either start crying about how fat she has become, or how she is not attractive anymore, or worst case scenario, yell at you for cheating on her in your head and blaming you for not loving her enough. Such girlfriends can be a running tap of water or a hot pan. You just have to be careful about the things they could get insecure about. If you are not careful enough, these two phrases ” Let’s break up” or “You don’t love me anymore” will be repeated over and over and over again. An insecure girlfriend will play mind games with you on an installment basis. She will make you think she does not deserve you but in reality it is you who don’t deserve her. Thus, you will have to do all the chasing in order to maintain the relationship.
5. Miss Wannabe Dietician
If you don’t have a medical family member or a friend, and you miss having intellectual nonsense being spat out, then do make sure to date Miss Wannabe Dietitian. Google is her best friend and skinny models are her inspiration. Such girls don’t forget and let other people forget that they are on a diet. The amount of time they spend talking about the diet could be well spent in actually attempting to stick to the diet. 99% of the time, their so-called strict diet will fail and don’t even think for a second that you are not going to be pulled into all this mess. She will pressurize you to follow a healthy diet, which is good in a way but pressurizing is never the solution. Every time you go out with her she will count the calories and carbs on each packet or food item and waste about 30 minutes just ordering leafy salads and a glass of water.
6. Miss I Am The One
Such girls are born with a boost of super ultra ego. If they had a choice to vote for themselves in every single good category out there, they would happily do it. When you date them, your world has to constantly revolve around theirs. The idea that someone can be better than them is alien to them. They have amazing grace, self-confidence, good posture, yet a very annoying narrow mind. Looking at new opportunities in life is not first nature to them and letting you think you can get a better girlfriend than them is unacceptable for them.
7. Miss Talkative
If you are looking for a good way to remain silent for a few minutes or meditate in your own mind, just sit with miss talkative. She will talk and talk and talk and keep talking until she has that vocal chord in her throat. Such girls love to be a chatterbox and talk about anything, anywhere and anyone. They make a great company on road trips but not in other cases. People who talk a lot don’t usually have many secrets left in their tummy because they eventually end up blabbering it all out. Tendencies of becoming a gossip queen are high for such people. Such girlfriend will spend 99% of her time talking about her life, her friends, her college days and for the sake of humanity spare that 1 tiny percent of attention for you.
8. The Queen Bee
Bold, beautiful, sexy and bitchy – Queen bee has it all. When she walks, heads turn and when she talks, everyone listens. She likes to live on her conditions and if things don’t go her way, she will make sure things turn around. Usually she will have a pack of followers, who will hate her but want to be like her. She’s like a poisonous snake, which will slide along the corridors slowly and peacefully, until you block its way or upset it. Such girlfriends turn out to be high maintenance. You need to make sure you tick all the boxes on their list and you please them, as they want. They can be mean, cynical yet sweet. You will always be on your toes, as you can never expect what is going to happen next. Also, don’t even think about sneaking around with other girls because once you are in the limelight as the Queen bee’s boy toy, her followers will sniff your mischiefs out.
9. The Rakhi Sister
The Rakhi Sister is the ‘chaloo’ (shady) type of girlfriend. She will be highly popular within men and she likes to be constantly surrounded by them. She loves attention and her favorite game is ‘Push and Pull’. Such girls will shamelessly flirt and make use of guys even when she is dating you, by giving them hope that there could be a possible future. When caught or questioned, she will innocently tag those guys as her ‘bhaiya’ (brother) and will pretend on planning on buying rakhi’s for them.
10. Daddy’s Princess
Such girls have a permanent tattoo on their personality and manners that says: “Handle me with care cause’ am a spoilt daddy’s princess”. As if all the spoiling blind love from their father wasn’t enough, they will want the same amount of attention, love and care from you as well. Get ready to shower them with sweet gifts, compliments and of course a high dose of glamour and Barbie-ness. They are the main heroines in their own film, and these type of girls love to be in the center of attention. Also, you had better watch out for their fathers. No man likes to compete and lose, and when it comes to love, fathers will always think you aren’t good enough to love their daughter as much as they can. A typical Bollywood movie, in which the hero has to fight with the heroine’s father just to get married, is based on this sad reality. Take my advice and stay away from such princesses. Or you can create your own Bollywood movie and name your character ‘Prem’ (Love).
Views expressed by the author are her own