The DU first cutoff list has been announced, and people are going crazy about how they’re going to get into a college that requires its students to get over 99% marks. We at Express LOL feel that this requires a deep understanding, and so we’ve made an academic and well-researched (really!) analysis.
Here are the 7 kinds of people who we think are the only ones that can get into DU:
The nerd with no social life
We’ve made fun of the people with thick glasses since we were in the second grade. But you know what they say about karma. While the average Delhi student is travelling to Jhumri Telaiya in the hope of admission, the nerd we all teased is sitting in Stephens having the last laugh.
Few things in life reach 100. The DU student is one of those rare things, and the onion is another. While those losers who scored 96% are out on the streets, the toppers and the onions are enjoying the classes in the South Campus.
The ‘mere baap ko jaanta hai’ guy
We all know those annoying guys who get special favours and escape punishment just because their families are influential. Unfortunately, these people walk straight of us in the admission lines and straight into the management seats in top colleges. How we hate them!
The work hard, party harder girl
There are people we hate, and then there are people we despise. You can get the marks, or you can get the awesome social life. How people have both is beyond us. But there are always those terrible people who have it all… the “all” in question being admission into DU.
We love centuries in matches. Centuries in exams, especially when other people get them… not so much. Cricketers who score lots of centuries in matches don’t necessarily get 100 in their exams. But sports quota! Advantages, advantages everywhere!
The cheater cheater pumpkin eater
Okay, we won’t pretend to be holier than thou. We’ve all cheated. But when people who cheat off of us get more marks than us, and then speed past us straight into the DU classrooms, we want to strangle all of them.
Sometimes, having a fortunate name is enough. Consult your astrologer NOW!