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Holidays are supposed to be fun and a get away from the routine, the predictable and the usual run of the mill daily life. It’s a wonderful opportunity for couples to spend more time together, get closer and add some special memories to the casket of marital life. But what happens when the holiday turns into a battleground with partners ending up resentful and bitter?
Take the case of Priya and Manas. They were very excited when they got some unexpected returns on their investment and decide to take a vacation. But the very first disagreement happened when they differed on where to go.
Priya was fond of beaches and Manas loved the mountains. It took them a lot of heated discussions and arguments before they decided to go to the mountains and to the beach next time.
But once they reached the destination, things again soured because they wanted to stay at different hotels, eat different cuisine and even see different places.
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“I let him come to the mountains and he should have been grateful. But he wanted to have his way all through. Why should I have to give in all the time? It was my vacation as much as his?” said Priya.
Manas on the other hand, had his share of disgruntlement.
“She was making everything an issue. It was almost like a score-card she was maintaining about everything. What to eat, where to go, what to buy… I had enough of her bullying,” said Manas.
With the whole vacation becoming an ego issue between the two, things turned out to be a disaster.
Experts say that the decision to take a vacation should be based on the premise of spending quality time together – and not of scoring points over the other. This will not only corrode the relationship but eventually damage it.
For some couples holidays also become a nightmare because of lack of planning, mismanagement of finances and even management of things.
This is what happened with Raman and Astha. When they went to a wildlife sanctuary, they suddenly realised that their camera had no battery.
“I had specifically asked him to charge the battery early in the morning and he even put it on charging. But then afterwards he forgot to put the battery back in the camera. I was livid and it spoilt my mood completely. We spotted so many amazing animals but we could take no pictures because Raman was so irresponsible,” Astha said.
Raman, on the other hand, vowed never to go on a vacation with her because of her attitude.
“I agree it was my fault. But it was not that big that she sulked all day, refused to speak to me properly for the rest of the trip. Were pictures so important that she had to make a hash out of the whole trip?” he said.
Counsellors say that before planning a vacation, it’s important for couples to sit down and work out a few modalities so that there is no scope for unnecessary arguments on trips.
Vacations are also a testing point in relationships since that’s the time you spend a lot of time at a stretch, without any distraction or break and if not managed well, it can be aking to walking on thin ice.
But at the same time, with a little planning, little adjustment and bit of compromise, a vacation can actually be the turning point where couples end up bonding more and understanding each other much better than in the chaos and commotion of daily life.