Blame it on lack of time or imagination, many couples forego foreplay entirely or fast forward to intercourse, turning it into a vanilla act. “The word ‘foreplay’ sounds like something subordinate, like an appetizer with intercourse as the main course. It’s fine to skip the appetizer when it comes to food but skipping foreplay is rarely a good idea,” says Dr Susan Block – better known as Dr Suzy – a sex therapist and and the author of The Ten Commandments of Pleasure.
While it is commonly known that foreplay is important for women, it greatly enhances sex for men too. According to Dr Jennifer Berman, renowned urologist and sexual health expert, foreplay can also improve your relationship outside the bedroom. “Foreplay helps to maintain intimacy. Physical intimacy but also emotional intimacy.”
Foreplay shouldn’t be a cookie-cutter formula of kissing, groping and undressing. Give it some time, some thought, and most of all – some love. To save you time from going through the entire Kamasutra, here are some inspirations to get you started:
Start early: Put your fingers to good use
Hold on to your thoughts right there. We were just talking about sending your partner some playful sexts to start off their day thinking about what you’ll be doing by the end of it. “Sexting builds big anticipation and hints at things to come,” explains Emily Morse, sexologist and host of the Sex With Emily podcast. “So, it’s ideal for creating pre-sex heat and tension. The right tone can put you two in a sexy mood hours before you see each other and set the stage for a passionate night.”
Who doesn’t like the rub of a deliciously scented bath salt or an exfoliating scrub? It’s even better when you get a partner involved! Between the touches and smells – not to mention all the make-out action – it is sure to turn out into quite the sensual experience. Shower your love with sweet nothings while you towel dry each other.
Foreplay flash cards
Think of nine things you want your partner to do to you, nine things you think your partner would want you to do to and write them on index cards of different colours. Place them all face down on the bed, then take turns drawing cards and enacting what each one says. This is sure to add an air of tantalising anticipation to the proceedings. Take turns writing the cards as well.
Food for thought
Combining sex and food during foreplay can be quite a sensory overload. And according to Morse, a fun way to take your existing sexual inclinations the the next level of naughty. Whipped cream, sugar, ice cubes and fruit provide varied degrees of sensual sensations. Use your imagination and play around with different sensations on your body as well as taste buds. The rule of thumb for bringing food and beverage into the bedroom is to avoid sticky situations and keep it clean and sweet. And if you don’t want to rummage through your kitchen cupboard or refrigerator, try edible body paints or edible lubricants.
Remember, couples who play together, stay together!