Let’s Talk: Bigger is not always better – Myths around penis size

To really satisfy your partner, stop worrying about your penis size and focus on the basics of intimacy.

Written by TV Balaji | Bengaluru | Updated: June 9, 2016 1:33 pm
The ruler and symbol of an excited male organism. The concept of measuring of male dignity. The three-dimensional illustration. Isolated While pleasing your partner, it’s really about making optimal use of what you’ve got. (Source: Thinkstock Images)

One of the most asked questions around sex is, “How to increase penis size?” Every other hour, every day.

A quick search on the Internet for how to increase penis size throws up hundreds of scams ranging from magic herbal potions, to creams, horrific-looking devices, penis enlargement pills and, sometimes, even surgery. Most claim money-back guarantee. The only guarantee I can see here is, never to see that money back.

First, almost none of it works. The few approaches that can work often have modest benefits and serious side effects. This is further emphasised by Michael O’Leary, MD, professor of urologic surgery at Harvard Medical School and a urologist at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston who told WebMD, “Trust me, if I knew of a way to safely and effectively increase penis size, I’d be a billionaire. But I don’t. Nobody does.”

After researching to make sure there was no Mr Penis World Competition that I was not aware of, this FAQ led me to ask all the people who wanted to know ‘how’ back with a “why?” Most of the times the answer is “To satisfy my woman”. I would blame this one mostly on porn, where every manhood is size XXL and every woman swoons over it. It doesn’t work that way in the real world.


Second, just like fingers and other body parts, penises come in all sort of sizes and types. Popular American sex therapist Dr Emily Morse, host of the Sex With Emily podcast, author of Hot Sex: Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight says, “Pleasing your partner is really about picking sex positions that makes optimal use of what you’ve got.”

Also, when it comes to satisfying a woman, bigger doesn’t necessarily mean better. Most women experience two main types of orgasms: the clitoral orgasm, which is more common (and doesn’t even require penetration), and the G-spot orgasm.

Noted sexologist Dr Prakash Kothari advises, “On an average, the woman’s vagina is between 4 and 6 inches. And only the external third of the vagina is sensitive. The inner two-thirds is virtually insensitive. By that logic anything starting from a 2-inch penis should be able to arouse a woman. So, if you are a man with a small penis, I would advise you to focus on the external genitalia, because that is what matters.” Dr Kothari further stresses on the beauty of sex and the art of making love. “You don’t measure the merits of an archer with the length of his bow. You see his aim. It’s the same with making love. Bigger the better is a Godzilla logic!


“In the Kama Sutra, there are different positions proposed by Vatsayana about how to overcome incompatibilities between the male and female genitalia. It’s very common that people take a lot of time to overcome their incompatibility, it’s a trial-and-error method.”

To really satisfy your partner, stop worrying about your penis size and focus on the basics of intimacy like touch, communication and understanding your partner’s pleasure. Take it slow, ask questions, give considerable amount of time in understanding your partner’s body and shower lots of love and you will get there. This is a 100 per cent satisfaction guarantee.

Balaji TV is co-founder of www.lovetreats.in. Let's Talk is a fortnightly column focusing on sexual wellness.
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