My birth is my fatal accident: Full text of Dalit student Rohith’s suicide letter

V Rohith, a Dalit PhD scholar committed suicide on Sunday, leading to protests across Hyderabad Central University. Here's the letter he wrote before committing suicide.

By: Express Web Desk | New Delhi | Updated: January 19, 2016 8:51 pm
suicide-7592 A file photo of V Rohith. Facebook image

Dalit PhD scholar V Rohith was found hanging at a central university’s hostel room located on the varsity campus on Sunday, police said.

“V Rohith (around 26) was found hanging in the hostel room. He was among the five research scholars who were suspended by Hyderabad Central University (HCU) in August last year and also one of the accused in the case of assault on a student leader,” Cyberabad Police Commissioner C V Anand told PTI.

Read: Dalit student’s suicide takes political turn; Opposition, BJP trade charges

The suspension was later revoked. Earlier, the five research scholars were suspended from the hostel for the rest of their study period for allegedly attacking an ABVP leader.

Below is the full text of Rohith’s suicide letter (The letter has been published as is)

Good morning,

I would not be around when you read this letter. Don’t get angry on me. I know some of you truly cared for me, loved me and treated me very well. I have no complaints on anyone. It was always with myself I had problems. I feel a growing gap between my soul and my body. And I have become a monster. I always wanted to be a writer. A writer of science, like Carl Sagan. At last, this is the only letter I am getting to write.

I always wanted to be a writer. A writer of science, like Carl Sagan.

I loved Science, Stars, Nature, but then I loved people without knowing that people have long since divorced from nature. Our feelings are second handed. Our love is constructed. Our beliefs colored. Our originality valid through artificial art. It has become truly difficult to love without getting hurt.

The value of a man was reduced to his immediate identity and nearest possibility. To a vote. To a number. To a thing. Never was a man treated as a mind. As a glorious thing made up of star dust. In every field, in studies, in streets, in politics, and in dying and living.

I am writing this kind of letter for the first time. My first time of a final letter. Forgive me if I fail to make sense.

My birth is my fatal accident. I can never recover from my childhood loneliness. The unappreciated child from my past.

May be I was wrong, all the while, in understanding world. In understanding love, pain, life, death. There was no urgency. But I always was rushing. Desperate to start a life. All the while, some people, for them, life itself is curse. My birth is my fatal accident. I can never recover from my childhood loneliness. The unappreciated child from my past.

I am not hurt at this moment. I am not sad. I am just empty. Unconcerned about myself. That’s pathetic. And that’s why I am doing this.

People may dub me as a coward. And selfish, or stupid once I am gone. I am not bothered about what I am called. I don’t believe in after-death stories, ghosts, or spirits. If there is anything at all I believe, I believe that I can travel to the stars. And know about the other worlds.

If you, who is reading this letter can do anything for me, I have to get 7 months of my fellowship, one lakh and seventy five thousand rupees. Please see to it that my family is paid that. I have to give some 40 thousand to Ramji. He never asked them back. But please pay that to him from that.

Let my funeral be silent and smooth. Behave like I just appeared and gone. Do not shed tears for me. Know that I am happy dead than being alive.

“From shadows to the stars.”

Uma anna, sorry for using your room for this thing.

To ASA family, sorry for disappointing all of you. You loved me very much. I wish all the very best for the future.

For one last time,

Jai Bheem

I forgot to write the formalities. No one is responsible for my this act of killing myself.

No one has instigated me, whether by their acts or by their words to this act.

This is my decision and I am the only one responsible for this.

Do not trouble my friends and enemies on this after I am gone.

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First Published on: January 18, 2016 1:06 pm
  1. P
    prashant
    Jan 19, 2016 at 12:05 am
    My gfather hated the caste sytem and dowry. My family has hated this curse for 50 years. Yet belonging to a cast defines you on who you are to who you marry. This gentleman was judged by his caste and not by his impressive achievements. He was judged as a dalit in modern india in a modern world where the caste system has been practiced for thousands of years. This young man was the future as a bright scholar. Its no wonder indians run in droves to the US, CANADA, UK AND AUSTRALIA. You are not judged by your merits but by the level of your birth. YOU are not judged by who you are but what they think YOU are. How can anyone live like.that?
    Reply
    1. P
      prashant
      Jan 19, 2016 at 4:33 am
      This guy was turning out to be a highly educated and highly talented peron who was destined FOR greatness. I know FOR a fact it would have been easier for him to get a visa in the US just because of he was a doctoral candidate under stem......SCIENCE,TECHNOLOGY, ENGINEERING AND MATH. This is India, where u are judged FOR being born into a certain caste and not your talents. India will loose big time. Most of the talented people have been from india into the US for years.The US loves to get these people. Indias loss.
      Reply
      1. A
        aa
        Jan 23, 2016 at 2:44 pm
        you are absolutely true....
        Reply
        1. K
          Krishna chaitanya
          Jan 22, 2016 at 11:41 am
          Stupid article with false information. It's nation pappers before putting news they don't check facts? Rohit is not a dalit .. He is from OBC.
          Reply
          1. I
            Ishwariprasad
            Jan 18, 2016 at 9:57 am
            It is aour society or our religion to be blamed I donot know we will change our society no not possible We only pray God to change heart of those who has biased mind and soul
            Reply
            1. L
              Lingaraj
              Jul 21, 2016 at 8:55 am
              Sad!!! Thrz alwys a bettr word thn we live.We just need to find it.. He sounds lyk he was facing all thz problems frm childhood.. Yes comparitively the society is changing and need time to become perfect...
              Reply
              1. S
                Sky
                Jan 20, 2016 at 3:04 pm
                I'm wondering how the importance to that subject can be given under this article. We Indians have a tendency to think parallel about a more critical issue that has not been highlighted enough. I disagree and strongly recommend that every crisis be given equal emphasis..equal empathy and concern.. Even if it is on a webpage, its a start.
                Reply
                1. S
                  Syed Hyder
                  Jan 19, 2016 at 3:13 pm
                  Hatsoff to the very brilliant student,i never imagined a suicide letter could b such inspirational,this letter forced me down to sit n realize many facts,for sure this act is called as cowardness,but sometimes the situation really gets worse.. India,is a very nice country a very nice place to live in*(if the democracy tag equality tag of it is justified).. Even politicians cant b blamed totally,coz god gifted people with brains,not using them will however result in loss.. If india(people of india)unites together,thn no issue cn giv a mark to its prestigious name.. The lines written by the mr.rohith(r.i.p) are actually eye opener lines,people should start realising the base actuality and the basic purpose of life i,e (be happy and let others be happy),however one cant b happy by saddening others.. Religions,casts etc are self believes,this should not b included in any other activity.. As,no religion no caste teaches its followers to do bad or to hurt someone or to do something which is prohibited in our country.. Everyone can remain happy simply by coperating with others.. Day by day day by day situations are getting worse,daily a new issue arises.. This must b stopped immediately, things must b sorted out soon..orelse india will not b remained as a country to live in.. There are many more things that i wana describe,but i wana remain away from politics scenario etc etc.. Just one saying is enough-be humble, be kind,think twice, act maturely,always remember our family,hav god's fear..thats more than enough.. May god bless my country and the people related to it..
                  Reply
                  1. A
                    Abhishek Krpet
                    Jan 20, 2016 at 5:01 am
                    Dalits are still facing fear due to fascist rule
                    Reply
                    1. D
                      Danish ahmad
                      Mar 27, 2016 at 7:22 pm
                      Poor baby .fel really sorry...just bcz u was a Dalit these gvt stand against u .but we all youth stand for u for justice
                      Reply
                      1. A
                        Akankshya Tripathy
                        Jan 19, 2016 at 9:07 am
                        when we are not the creator of our life then who gives us the right to take it away. NO MATTER WHAT, Rohit should never have taken this step. May God bless him and take him to the stars which he fascinated his w life People playing dirty politics over this... kindly don't
                        Reply
                        1. N
                          Neutral
                          Jan 18, 2016 at 11:27 am
                          this life is for others! we live for others much than ourselves, he forgot that! he has been selfish to get a better life in outer world! he had not thought about his family also who gave him birth, brought up, only emotion has become more valued for him! this is ridiculous, he was trying to justify the suicide! coward! if everybody think in his way, there will be 50% death in potion by suicide but we r struggling, coping up with the situation, fighting but never give up, who knows tomorrow is my better day if i keep on trying to improve myself but never escape from urself! God has given u this life and he is checking u!
                          Reply
                          1. A
                            Arpit
                            Jan 18, 2016 at 12:53 pm
                            Very unfortunate...
                            Reply
                            1. A
                              Ashish
                              Jan 19, 2016 at 6:44 am
                              Much sympathy is being shown because he was dalit. The fact remains that he was suspended for aulting another fellow student. How can any college authority overlook indiscipline ? Even if college authority was proven wrong later, but initially they do have to take precautionary measure.
                              Reply
                              1. V
                                Vinod Bansal
                                Jan 18, 2016 at 1:03 pm
                                As professional and affected by some one near having committed suicide, it is well established that majority of persons, if not all, who commit suicide are depressed .The depression is either not recognised or treated. This happens all the times and at very beast of Universities all over the globe. It is tragic and he fits a pattern of young person. The lesson to be learned as we did is that mental health disease has to be recognised early and treated early.It will be very unfortunate if this issue is made a political football.
                                Reply
                                1. B
                                  Basavantappa
                                  Jul 14, 2016 at 3:03 am
                                  Very sad. I think there is no space in this world for honest and brilliant people who are needed most for nation.
                                  Reply
                                  1. B
                                    Balaji Kendre
                                    Jan 25, 2016 at 12:24 pm
                                    Everyone will calm down now . his ideny is cleat he is OBC. for which no one is serious and obcs cases are never treated serious by politicians .
                                    Reply
                                    1. K
                                      KK Bose
                                      Jan 21, 2016 at 9:51 am
                                      Among human beings the only species is human, there is no second or sub-species. Only few are human beings, all the rest are animals in the caste system. Why don't the Indian intellectuals politicians and Supreme Court understand it even after my two Bharatyathras? Do not invite a destructive tsunami to my country. ERADICATE CASTE SYSTEM.
                                      Reply
                                      1. K
                                        KK Bose
                                        Jan 21, 2016 at 9:48 am
                                        Evolve, my fellow Indians. Treat a human being as a human being, not a caste being as SC, ST, OBC, Dalit etc. I repeat, caste is used among plants and animals to differentiate and identify different sub-species in a species, such as elephants, horse, cats, dogs etc., among animals. ERADICATE CASTE SYSTEM.
                                        Reply
                                        1. K
                                          KVR Pillai
                                          Jan 19, 2016 at 6:32 pm
                                          May the departed soul rest in Peace. But the loss is primarily to his mother then to nation.... He would have been an et to the nation........ But ......The letter is filled with full of frustration. ...... for reasons one can just co-relate now may be attribute to the possible political and student organisational ....... The problem here was not that grave wherein he had to opt for the extreme step. My young brothers and sisters ..... There is not a single problem which cant be resolved. Dont think about such extreme steps which are really not solving the problems but starting the problems to your dear and nearer ones.
                                          Reply
                                          1. C
                                            chanuu adari
                                            Jan 19, 2016 at 5:42 pm
                                            Rohit Vemula Scholar! Just checked his status on July 30, 2015 on yakub hanging it states "Black Day for Indian Democracy Shame on Judiciary and government for hanging yakub memom" Its just an example. Just look at rest of his posts and judge.
                                            Reply
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