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My birth is my fatal accident: Full text of Dalit student Rohith’s suicide letter

V Rohith, a Dalit PhD scholar committed suicide on Sunday, leading to protests across Hyderabad Central University. Here's the letter he wrote before committing suicide.

By: Express Web Desk | New Delhi | Updated: January 19, 2016 8:51 pm
suicide-7592 A file photo of V Rohith. Facebook image

Dalit PhD scholar V Rohith was found hanging at a central university’s hostel room located on the varsity campus on Sunday, police said.

“V Rohith (around 26) was found hanging in the hostel room. He was among the five research scholars who were suspended by Hyderabad Central University (HCU) in August last year and also one of the accused in the case of assault on a student leader,” Cyberabad Police Commissioner C V Anand told PTI.

Read: Dalit student’s suicide takes political turn; Opposition, BJP trade charges

The suspension was later revoked. Earlier, the five research scholars were suspended from the hostel for the rest of their study period for allegedly attacking an ABVP leader.

Below is the full text of Rohith’s suicide letter (The letter has been published as is)

Good morning,

I would not be around when you read this letter. Don’t get angry on me. I know some of you truly cared for me, loved me and treated me very well. I have no complaints on anyone. It was always with myself I had problems. I feel a growing gap between my soul and my body. And I have become a monster. I always wanted to be a writer. A writer of science, like Carl Sagan. At last, this is the only letter I am getting to write.

I always wanted to be a writer. A writer of science, like Carl Sagan.

I loved Science, Stars, Nature, but then I loved people without knowing that people have long since divorced from nature. Our feelings are second handed. Our love is constructed. Our beliefs colored. Our originality valid through artificial art. It has become truly difficult to love without getting hurt.

The value of a man was reduced to his immediate identity and nearest possibility. To a vote. To a number. To a thing. Never was a man treated as a mind. As a glorious thing made up of star dust. In every field, in studies, in streets, in politics, and in dying and living.

I am writing this kind of letter for the first time. My first time of a final letter. Forgive me if I fail to make sense.

My birth is my fatal accident. I can never recover from my childhood loneliness. The unappreciated child from my past.

May be I was wrong, all the while, in understanding world. In understanding love, pain, life, death. There was no urgency. But I always was rushing. Desperate to start a life. All the while, some people, for them, life itself is curse. My birth is my fatal accident. I can never recover from my childhood loneliness. The unappreciated child from my past.

I am not hurt at this moment. I am not sad. I am just empty. Unconcerned about myself. That’s pathetic. And that’s why I am doing this.

People may dub me as a coward. And selfish, or stupid once I am gone. I am not bothered about what I am called. I don’t believe in after-death stories, ghosts, or spirits. If there is anything at all I believe, I believe that I can travel to the stars. And know about the other worlds.

If you, who is reading this letter can do anything for me, I have to get 7 months of my fellowship, one lakh and seventy five thousand rupees. Please see to it that my family is paid that. I have to give some 40 thousand to Ramji. He never asked them back. But please pay that to him from that.

Let my funeral be silent and smooth. Behave like I just appeared and gone. Do not shed tears for me. Know that I am happy dead than being alive.

“From shadows to the stars.”

Uma anna, sorry for using your room for this thing.

To ASA family, sorry for disappointing all of you. You loved me very much. I wish all the very best for the future.

For one last time,

Jai Bheem

I forgot to write the formalities. No one is responsible for my this act of killing myself.

No one has instigated me, whether by their acts or by their words to this act.

This is my decision and I am the only one responsible for this.

Do not trouble my friends and enemies on this after I am gone.

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  1. S
    shivraj meena
    Sep 21, 2017 at 4:59 pm
    very sad, let us try to make a world where right to equality for all is must.
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    1. P
      prashant
      Jan 19, 2016 at 12:05 am
      My gfather hated the caste sytem and dowry. My family has hated this curse for 50 years. Yet belonging to a cast defines you on who you are to who you marry. This gentleman was judged by his caste and not by his impressive achievements. He was judged as a dalit in modern india in a modern world where the caste system has been practiced for thousands of years. This young man was the future as a bright scholar. Its no wonder indians run in droves to the US, CANADA, UK AND AUSTRALIA. You are not judged by your merits but by the level of your birth. YOU are not judged by who you are but what they think YOU are. How can anyone live like.that?
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      1. P
        prashant
        Jan 19, 2016 at 4:33 am
        This guy was turning out to be a highly educated and highly talented peron who was destined FOR greatness. I know FOR a fact it would have been easier for him to get a visa in the US just because of he was a doctoral candidate under stem......SCIENCE,TECHNOLOGY, ENGINEERING AND MATH. This is India, where u are judged FOR being born into a certain caste and not your talents. India will loose big time. Most of the talented people have been from india into the US for years.The US loves to get these people. Indias loss.
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          aa
          Jan 23, 2016 at 2:44 pm
          you are absolutely true....
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          1. K
            Krishna chaitanya
            Jan 22, 2016 at 11:41 am
            Stupid article with false information. It's nation pappers before putting news they don't check facts? Rohit is not a dalit .. He is from OBC.
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