Mastizaade review: There are barely two-and-a-half laughs in Sunny Leone’s film

Mastizaade review: Sunny Leone's comfort with her body beautiful is presumably the sole reason for this film to exist. She is gorgeous, this woman.

Written by Shubhra Gupta | New Delhi | Updated: February 1, 2016 8:29 am
Mastizaade movie review, Sunny Leone, Mastizaade, Mastizaade review, Mastizaade movie review Sunny Leone Mastizaade movie review: A one, a two, aaaaand, tada, Sunny Leone, she of the bountiful breasts, top-lining a film which calls itself, proudly, a sex com to beat all sex comedies.

Ok, here we go. A one, a two, aaaaand, tada, Sunny Leone, she of the bountiful breasts, top-lining a film which calls itself, proudly, a sex com to beat all sex comedies.

Also read: What makes a Sunny movie click?

So are we to get a bouncy, squishy, panting, roll-on-the-floor, rising-till-the-rooftop fun fest?

Also read: Saala Khadoos movie review: From frame one, Madhavan’s film seals the possibility of surprises 

Having suffered through two hours of non-stop crassness, I am sorry to tell you that there are barely two-and-a-half laughs in ‘Mastizaade’. The alleged ‘masti’ is so ‘sasti’, that you are left cringing rather than cracking up.

Sample these:

Sunny Leone plays a double role, going by the name of Laila and Lily. One plays with her pusski, aka, cat. The other is a balls-cleaner, i.e, she cleans round, spherical objects with a cloth. The surname is, yes, Lele. (PHOTOS: Mastizaade movie review in pics: There are barely two-and-a-half laughs in this Sunny Leone film)

This gives the script an all-clear pass to bung in rhyming jokes, and a name. Tusshar Kapoor is called Sunny Kele. This gives the scriptwriter a chance to brandish childish lines about bananas. ‘Coz a ‘kela’ is not a fruit. It is, yep, you got that. We get the humble ba-na-na featuring in many scenes– peeled, unpeeled, yellow, green: for variation, out pop water hoses, and other elongated things which resemble, yes, yes, we know you know.

Also read: Mastizaade Vs Saala Khadoos: Watch the audience reaction

Out come the standard, dull lines about ‘lena’-and-‘dena’: apart from the rest of the cast using these words every few minutes, we get a pneumatic doll sticking out every imaginable place with surgically enhanced extensions, talking of ‘loongi, and doongi’. Hear it for women, yay.

Body parts stand and droop. And we hear, sigh, ‘khada hai, baitha hai’. Coins leap up from crotches and stick in unmentionable parts. That’s at least a new one. Oh, and before I forget, Vir Das plays a guy called Aditya Chotiya, the surname lending itself to, yeah, you got that too.

Watch the audience reaction to Mastizaade and Saala Khadoos

Messers Kele and Chotiya are sex addicts. Yes, that’s how it rolls. And Misses Laila and Lily (the only way to differentiate between the two is that one wears glasses; the cup size, straining at jib, is identical) are at hand, ahem, to cure them.

Into this mix turns up a wheelchair bound hunk (Shaad Randhawa) whose working above-the-waist is, self-confessedly, totally in order. And Asrani, as a white-haired, rifle-clad I don’t what, and Sushmita (who was also in last week’s ‘Kya Kool Hain Hum 3’) I don’t really want to know. Suresh Menon is made to play the kind of grotesque gay caricature who bites his lips, and grinds his butt, and makes the faintest chance of laughter dry up.

Characters come and go, ha ha. Riteish Deshmukh has a bit part, oh yes. He talks of man-gasms, when he talks at all. In the rest, he goes beep-beep. Which is actually a smart thing: a whole film full of beeps would be better than this non-stop spouting of words and phrases that would convulse innocent pre-teens, and past-it fifty-plus year olds who’ve just discovered the existence of porn videos.

And yes, that brings us to Sunny Leone, whose comfort with her body beautiful is presumably the sole reason for this film to exist. She is gorgeous, this woman. But the moment she opens her mouth, she’s oh-so-boring. Can nakedness be as dull-as-ditchwater? Yes, when that’s all there is. She is made to say: ‘sambhal ke rakhna Mr Kele kyonki aa rahi hai Laila Lele’. Teeth, gnash. Whatever happened to the smart girl underneath all that skin?

Not moan, because that would be the kind of sound this film should encourage. But groan.

Star cast of Mastizaade: Sunny Leone, Tusshar Kapoor, Vir Das, Suresh Menon, Asrani, Viveck Vasvani, Sushmita Mukherjee
Director : Milap Zaveri

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First Published on: January 29, 2016 9:44 am
  1. B
    Bunny
    Apr 9, 2016 at 6:24 pm
    Hyderabad India and we can call no 7680895040
    Reply
    1. M
      MyTake
      Jan 30, 2016 at 2:09 am
      Making a true essment has nothing to do with praying. That is the real problem with Congi, Leftie and Loonie - their understanding of life as opposed to what a normal person's understanding is!
      Reply
      1. M
        MyTake
        Jan 29, 2016 at 9:20 pm
        Sunny Leon is saint compared to any AAP or a Congress person.
        Reply
        1. R
          Ramesh
          Jan 29, 2016 at 2:12 pm
          Good
          Reply
          1. R
            Rakesh agarwal
            Feb 8, 2016 at 10:45 am
            3rd cl movie...
            Reply
            1. R
              Ramavtar Tyagi
              Jan 29, 2016 at 1:09 pm
              At least give it some star. It has made up a funny review, this one.
              Reply
              1. J
                John
                Jan 29, 2016 at 10:14 am
                Note here that only guys watched this movie and gave it a thumbs up ;)
                Reply
                1. H
                  Honest India
                  Feb 2, 2016 at 1:27 pm
                  I was waiting for a funny scene till the end!
                  Reply
                  1. K
                    Kapil Gautam
                    Jan 29, 2016 at 4:37 am
                    Funny movie...REALLY ENJOYABLE :)
                    Reply
                    1. K
                      Kapil Gautam
                      Jan 29, 2016 at 7:50 am
                      Where is the rating ???
                      Reply
                      1. R
                        Raju Malhotra.
                        Feb 1, 2016 at 3:57 pm
                        I Have,t see this type of boring film in my life
                        Reply
                        1. M
                          Mohammed Khalid
                          Jan 29, 2016 at 3:44 pm
                          Funny movie and one time watchable ...
                          Reply
                          1. K
                            Kissmachaddi
                            Jan 30, 2016 at 1:35 am
                            LMAO!! Totally agree and that's why bhakts like you pray to her.....Mytake mutthal
                            Reply
                            1. K
                              krishanu
                              Jan 29, 2016 at 5:05 am
                              yea ITs really Funny I wish
                              Reply
                              1. J
                                joseph fernandis
                                Oct 17, 2016 at 5:28 pm
                                After watching this movie for one and a half hour, I just wanted to do one thing; break the screen. Yaaakkkk. eeeeeew. Shame on bollywood and indian censor board that allow such kind of a rubbish. 3rd cl comedy, bulls*it story, and 18 vulgarity. I was shocked to see they have made a contempt and insulted Prophet Adam and Eve by some shameful false story. Bollywood is now at the time where it tries to own fame on disrespecting other religions. I know in india there will be not even a single protest against it because its a country run by athiests. Shame on you people: Milap Milan Zaveri, Pritish Nandy,Rangita Pritish Nandy, Mushtaq Sheikh, Milap Zaveri, Tusshar Kapoor, Vir Das, Sanjay F Gupta, Nitin Rokade, PNC Productions, Panorama Studios, Pen India Limited.lt;br/gt;You people aren't into this job. You can't make movies. Just go and insult other religions, that's what you are good at.
                                Reply
                                1. N
                                  nawang
                                  Jan 29, 2016 at 1:29 pm
                                  i was hearing about the indian culture now i feel shame on this people who make public
                                  Reply
                                  1. N
                                    Nabakrishna Hazarika
                                    Jan 29, 2016 at 6:37 pm
                                    Can IE put a word across to SG that her review was much funnier than the film itself(yes i watched it).
                                    Reply
                                    1. P
                                      Pattabi Kalayana Sundaram
                                      Feb 1, 2016 at 1:27 am
                                      well i got confused with the rating tab..i was even trying to give a rating there before realising it has already been rated :-D
                                      Reply
                                      1. V
                                        Vivek
                                        Jan 29, 2016 at 4:57 am
                                        Waiting for review..heard its very funny movie
                                        Reply
                                        1. S
                                          sa
                                          Jan 29, 2016 at 5:35 pm
                                          she enjo the keles..
                                          Reply
                                          1. Y
                                            Yuga Parivartan
                                            Feb 2, 2016 at 11:34 am
                                            When would bollywood stop wasting money on trash:
                                            Reply
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