Love be damned!

So Punjab is our closet-Las Vegas. If you are to believe Kambakht Ishq and its clan,the day Punjabi men are done biking across wheat,paddy...

Written by PiyasreeDasgupta | Published: July 4, 2009 2:04 am

Film: Kambakht Ishq

Director: Sabir Khan

Cast: Akshay Kumar,Kareena Kapoor,Amrita Arora,Aftab Shivdasani,Sylvester Stallone,Brandon Routh,Denise Richards

Rating: **

Running at: Inox (Swabhumi,Forum,City Centre)

So Punjab is our closet-Las Vegas. If you are to believe Kambakht Ishq and its clan,the day Punjabi men are done biking across wheat,paddy,sugarcane and all such conceivable fields,they wake up in New York first,and then discover hormones like no one else from the rest of the country ever has. And while they might be jumping in and out of fancy beds,couches and suchlike,they carry the heart of Sunny Deol from Soni Mahiwal deep inside their designer,bronzed muscles.

So,Viraj (Akshay Kumar in his Levis glory) swears by his Bollywood Made-in-Manhattan textbook. He wakes up in his bed with a new woman everyday,shaves his chest every morning I presume,shuns everything that has buttons,dances,dives and does all the other things that a hero in supposed to do in our country. But then there’s Simrata (Kareena Kapoor) who comes in the way of his beach-bikini-bedroom routine. Now,she is your supermodel,who is a doctor by the day. Nearly perfect,especially when,her hospital looks like a fancy shopping mall but for the overweight,over-aged extras slouching here and there. Lot of funny things follow with Viraj ending up at the OT with Simrata as the surgeon. And when she leaves her chunky heart shaped musical watch behind,in his stomach,you are probably not surprised. Because,if you weren’t shown close-ups of the gory operated tummy,going by her body language you would probably think the doctor was buttering her toast on the sets of a Dettol ad. But damn logic,damn science,damn your common sense,who told you that a watch in our Bollywood was of the same constitution as the one on your wrist? So,Watch Bolly doesn’t infect,doesn’t hurt,but sounds out an alarm in the tune of the marriage chant with the clarity of Dolby sound every hour. The less-funny things take their course again,until the film ends.

Sylvestor Stallone was probably too smitten by Kareena,or was read out the script of Reservoir Dogs before he signed for his cameo. And if he mouths ‘Kambakhth Ishq’ like he would say,“What,the hell is on?” we cannot blame him. Like we cannot understand why Denise Richards would be lusting after Akshay Kumar and yet look like she is bored to death.

If Kareena looks like she is not interested in anything more than slipping in and out of fetching dresses before you could blink,we understand. After Kambakht Ishq,if you want to starve,or live on juices and such profanities,it would sound most natural. She looks stunning and does her bit,when she seems to understand what is going on in the script. Akshay Kumar,on the other hand,could give swimsuit models a run for their bronzer glory. Though he has turned into an unofficial brand ambassador of sorts for the womanizer with the heart of a cowherd,he seems to be taking his new found identity a little too seriously. In fact,it is not too hard to predict a film with Akshay Kumar as its hero. Men’s hostel jokes,gay jokes,women in bikinis,men in leathers tuxes —yawn! You are probably left wondering what the heroine’s wardrobe would be like…

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