For Eman Ahmed’s doctors, it’s time to go high!

Maybe it’s time for Eman Ahmed’s doctors to “go high”, since eventually, we’re only answerable to ourselves, after all!

Written by Anuradha Varma | Published:April 27, 2017 4:04 pm
Eman Ahmed, world's heaviest woman, Eman Ahmed weight, Eman Ahmed treatment, Eman Ahmed mUmbai, Eman Ahmed treatment controversy, Eman Ahmed saifee hospital, Aman ahmed story, Aman ahmed weight, who is eman ahmed?, eman ahmed story, eman ahmed to go back?, aman ahmed family, aman ahmed blog, Indian express news, eman ahmed news, indian express blog Eman Ahmed. (File photo)

When “world’s heaviest woman” Eman Ahmed’s doctor Aparna Bhasker quit her case, with an emotional post on Facebook saying she felt unappreciated by her Egyptian patient’s family, my first reaction was that as a doctor, she should simply do her job and not care about rewards or brickbats. But only a couple of hours later, I was discussing the inherent wisdom in keeping an arm’s length from anyone who was unappreciative, since one should be smart enough to know better. It made me wonder why the same logic shouldn’t apply to doctors.

In our parents’ generation, when joint families were the norm, duty reigned supreme. Nobody thanked anyone if they were asked to pass the salt on the dinner table, unlike today. Feeling underappreciated, taken for granted were not words associated with that generation, as they looked after extended families and put siblings, and sometimes an entire village, through school. Ours is a generation known for knee-jerk reactions, instant gratification and settling scores. I decided to resort to some pop psychology, courtesy Google (what else?), and found that most tips are for inculcating the spirit of gratitude, which is apparently also good for our psychological health. But there’s not much about being at the receiving end of ingratitude. Except the satisfaction of knowing that karma is a bitch and it will come back to bite the evil wrongdoers. But what about taking the moral high road? Or as former US First Lady Michelle Obama famously said last year, “When they go low, we go high.”

Times like these, when one is feeling let down, are a real challenge. As a religiously challenged person (not atheistic, not agnostic, not really anything) and also without a therapist to fall back on, I usually resort to my own analysis. Ultimately, it helps to realise that we are all but a speck in the universe and after a point, not even that remains, so how important is someone being ungrateful in the larger scheme of things? And as the wonderful people we aspire or claim to be, should we even be expecting anything in exchange for a good deed? Ideally, no, but in reality, nobody wants to feel…you get it, underappreciated. Besides the fact that our sense of self is the most important reality in our lives.

I remember having interviewed a motivational speaker, who remarked that when employees quit jobs, it’s simply people leaving people. Ultimately, it all comes down to the quality of your relationships and our attitudes towards those we meet. So, naturally, people—including doctors—will get upset at some point and quit cases.

Here’s a telling quote, credited to the Dalai Lama, “For a person who cherishes compassion and love, the practice of tolerance is essential, and for that, an enemy is indispensable. So we should be grateful to our enemies, for it is they who can best help us develop a tranquil mind.” In other words, the end goal is achieving personal growth and a calm mind. With that in focus, maybe it’s time for Eman Ahmed’s doctors to “go high”, since eventually, we’re only answerable to ourselves, after all!

(The writer is an editorial consultant and co-founder of The Goodwill Project. She tweets @anuvee) Views expressed are personal.

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          chander
          Apr 28, 2017 at 12:52 am
          Why don't the writer become a doctor instead of a writer? For the time being she can work as a nurse for Eman. They would love to have a free nurse working for them.
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            BCMC
            Apr 27, 2017 at 8:47 pm
            Please if the doctor really did everything right and was being honest about the progress there is no reason for her to quit. The fact that she could not back up her claims shows that she was at fault and quit before she could be blamed.
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              sdr
              Apr 27, 2017 at 5:42 pm
              what article, doctor profession is not a mere profession, it has a lot of responsibilities and you are accountable to a life.You should give your best, and not leave a patient inbetween, because he has acquired complication beyond your speciality or knowledge, doctors should be learning on the flyand also by consulting other experts, and lastly through experience . But today in India doctors are nothing less than bunch of s s,arrogant, busy, negligent and money minded professional killers
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                Pankaj
                Apr 27, 2017 at 5:25 pm
                We cant put a doctor patient relationship on the same plane as the others that you have mentioned above. A patient comes to the doctor with troubles. And doctors should know that they and their family members can get emotional, after all they are the ones going through trauma of the ailment or injury. It is part of the package. A good doctor should be able to handle this aspect and there is no dearth of such doctors in our country. While we can disapprove of what the patients sister has said. It is clear in this case that the good doctor's job is not over yet, for he or she has to see it through till the end. Isn't that the understanding always ? I could be wrong but it looks the doctors are looking for an escape route as things are getting complicated.
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                  Sandeep
                  Apr 27, 2017 at 6:04 pm
                  You obviously don't know anything about the case and are also not a doctor- take a free advice- please keep your opinions to yourself
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                    Pankaj
                    Apr 27, 2017 at 8:29 pm
                    This is the place to express your opinions dear.. case you haven't noticed
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                    Bopdji
                    Apr 27, 2017 at 8:08 pm
                    Too much is required of the doctors. Doctors are also human being, and in this particular case, the doctors took on a responsibility which nobody else was willing to take. It is a sort of case where, one should be surprised if complication do not occur or if the patient does not die. Instead the sister of the patient showered verbal abuse. The doctors took the right decision in sending the patient away to another care facility willing to look after this patient.
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                      Vishwanath Natarajan
                      Apr 27, 2017 at 8:35 pm
                      Hmm .. people come to government servants with their problems as well. Thus is it justified if they or their relatives get emotional when they are met with indifference and so proceed to bash them up ( Personally I would be delighted if that happened. )
                      Reply
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